We call ourselves the “FINAL FOUR” … the last two kids teenaged kids and their parents, and lately the final four have been enjoying the spring weather here in Northeast Florida before the HOT arrives, and we know it will!
We didn’t go out of town for the kids’ spring break from school, but enjoyed hiking our local Jacksonville Arboritum, cycling with Ben’s boy scout troop, and attending Sean’s school’s annual spring carnival.
And before we knew it, the celebration of Easter had arrived!
I hope you and your family have been enjoying the spring of 2023. We’ve rounded the final bend of the school year and take the home stretch to summer break!
Soaking in our beautiful Jacksonville Arboritum, April 2023Benjamin, 15, earning cycling merit badge with his scouts troop, April 2023Sean, 15, standing next to the poster for the Spring Carnival that he designed, April 2023They may not be little kids anymore, but they still love decorating Easter eggs! April 2023Our church’s beautiful Easter Vigil Mass that included Baptisms, Confirmations and first Holy Communion for many new Christians. He is Gloriously Risen, Alleluia!Gorgeous Easter eggs, created by Pitre kidsYeager, our Erin’s pup wishing everyone a Happy Easter!
There comes a time when we realize how fast our children are growing, and at the same time we realize how quickly our parents are aging. We find ourselves transitioning from our dependency on our parents (and you know how much we lean on them long after we’ve moved out and start our own families) to now worrying about them. We start to notice that they are slowing down, that they aren’t as energetic as in years past. They may be starting to lean on us as the roles now have reversed.
It is at this point that we are concerned for both the daily well-being and needs of our growing children AS WELL as our aging parents. We check in with Mom to find out how the last doctor’s appointment went for her more so than we would to let her know how our appointment went.
We are now sandwiched as care-givers for the generations below AND above us. Welcome to the sandwich generation.
Some of you who know our family’s history will recall that my husband Bruce’s Dad Royce Pitre was diagnosed with lung cancer from asbestos exposure (akin to mesothelioma) back in early 2003. In the summer of 2004, Royce passed on. In the late fall of 2012, my Dad, Cliff Circe was diagnosed with bladder cancer (due to decades as a cigarette smoker) and passed in early December 2012.
Where Bruce’s Mom, Sylvia never married again, my mom Virginia (Gigi) remarried in the summer of 2013. We all love Jim, and I lovingly refer to him as my StepDad. In the last 18 months or so, during all of this pandemic psyop, our 3 living parents (all now in their early 80s) have had a really hard time, and we’re very aware of their ages. Although before the pandemic, we all spent time together often as our family, the pandemic dictated that we become and remain careful not to risk virus exposure to our elderly loved ones. But due to increasing health problems, I’ve taken many trips to visit my Mom and Jim, and we’ve visited Bruce’s family in Louisiana as much as possible, much of which visiting was due to the activities related to the wedding of our daughter Kathryn during the summer and fall of 2021.
My Mom and StepDad with our daughter Kathryn, and Bruce and I (right) at last dance at JU, 2018
It was during this family wedding trip in Tucson when my mother-in-law Sylvia fell, badly injured our left shoulder, and then needed a full shoulder replacement before she could return to Houma, Louisiana. After her surgery, her transportation home with family members, and the start of her recovery, I flew to Louisiana to stay with Sylvia. She’s lived alone since her husband’s passing, but many family members live nearby, I knew I could help her rehabilitate due to my clinical training in physical therapy as a manual therapist. I offered my help to assist her while she rested during the important healing process prior to the start of her physical therapy plan of care several weeks away. The other family members who live there in town with Sylvia all work full-time jobs. Initially they created a rotation of care-givers who would stay overnight with her in the early weeks after her surgery, but it was a hard schedule to sustain. Because I can work my graphic design business, write music and coordinate music events straight from my laptop, I had the ability to move in with Sylvia for several weeks knowing that Bruce could handle our home and family in Jacksonville without me for a while. I was able to care for her, cook, clean, grocery shop and drive her to appointments.
Meanwhile back in central Florida, my step Dad’s diabetes and COPD became increasingly severe following a heart attack he suffered shortly after having his gall bladder removed in November of 2020. Eventually, his failing health has put him under hospice home care as needed. My mom’s physical health is ok, but it’s been very taxing on her to care for her declining husband.
After visiting Houma this past early July 2022, I was at my parent’s home in western Orlando, for a weekend when I received a text message from my sister-in-law in Louisiana that they had taken Sylvia to the ER because she had fallen in her home. She had broken her right wrist and needed surgery to place a stabilizing plate. I asked if she wouldn’t mind having me come back once the surgery was done so I could help her as I had last fall, and she welcomed me back. This time I drove to Louisiana and stayed about 10 days so I could cook, clean, drive her to appointments and keep her company. After leaving, the other family members needed to come and help daily to make sure she was doing okay. She was weak and unsteady from pain medication and residual effects of anesthesia, and while I was there, she had a bad reaction to some medication and back to the ER we went. Her sleep patterns were backwards so I didn’t get much sleep while staying there. I returned home to Jacksonville exhausted but ready to pop back into my role as mom caring for my own family’s needs.
So, I’m back at home, but I keep my suitcase nearby in case I need to drive to stay with my Mom in Orlando or drive back to Louisiana. At the same time, I still have a 9th grader, an 8 grader and one in his last year of college. Six of us still are under our roof … just a lot going on!
We’ve had some family discussions and have decided to have Sylvia visited daily by their local Council on Aging organization. They offer free services from meals-on-wheels to help with appointment transportation. We hope that she’ll regain her strength and go back to being as independent as she always has been, but with each passing year, and with each injury set back, it’s becoming harder to recapture her confidence, her stability and self-reliance.
My mom is so grateful for their hospice system there in Orlando. The nurses and aides are wonderful, and help with medication and with Jim’s growing personal needs such as dressing and bathing. They also offer respite time where he stays in a close-by nursing care facility so Mom can have a few days to rest, focus on herself and their home, and to get some errands done.
There are many resources if you know who and where to ask.
Here are a couple of articles that I found that explain the experiences many of us are living right now.
I’ll keep everyone posted on our family as always. It’s difficult to face the mortality of our parents, but this is life and these times give us opportunities to return the love and care that our parents gave us throughout our lives. I can never thank our parents enough for all of their support, love and help during challenging times for me, especially their help when our 3 different sets of twins were all newborns.
Are any of my readers going through a similar experience? It actually feels like another season of life, this sandwich phase. I’d love your feedback!
After we were home from our trip to Tuscon for our daughter’s wedding for a couple of weeks, I realized that I needed to take another trip. We’d checked almost daily on Sylvia and with the rest of the Louisiana family to see how things were going with her. She was home, sleeping in a recliner, but wouldn’t be released for any physical therapy until she was 6 weeks post op.
I began to think. Unlike my in-laws in Louisiana who work full time and having been taking turns staying overnight with Sylvia to assist her as needed, I don’t presently work outside of my home. I work many different jobs, but all are flexible and essentially from my laptop and I have children who don’t need me as much as they used to. I’m also trained in manual therapy and I know how to care for post operative shoulder patients. So, after talking with Bruce, we decided that I would go and live with Sylvia for about a month. I could take care of her, oversee her exercises, cook, grocery shop, do laundry and house work. I could also fill her freezer with meals that could last an additional month or more after I leave.
When I arrived to a very appreciative Sylvia, I noticed that the navel orange tree branches on the side yard were reaching the ground heavy with incredible oranges … I absolutely love oranges.
God knows how very much I absolutely love these … the most flavorful, fresh, juicy, sweet oranges I’ve ever had.
Sylvia slowly healed and we prepared for her to eventually be under the care of physical therapists. In the meantime, I helped her dress, wash and dry her hair, and encouraged her to slowly regain confidence in her left arm and get quite acquainted with her brand new shoulder joint. I took care of my mother-in-law, and it was about time the tables were turned. She had moved in with us after the births of all of our twins so she could help us with all of the needs of our house and help take care of our older children needs so I could focus on myself and my newborns. I knew I could be of much-needed assistance and more support. Feeling needed is a gift in and of itself.
During my weeks in Houma, Louisiana, Sylvia and I talked about everything, laughed about a lot, watched countless movies, enjoyed Thanksgiving at my niece’s home (so strange not being with my own family, but I was with family just the same), and ate way too much ice cream. Slowly, Sylvia began to regain her strength, her stamina and her desire to get back into life. She accepted an invitation to be picked up by a friend so she could go to a sorority meeting that she’s been a member of for decades, and I went along. I was honored to spend time with ladies that she’s spent time with over the years.
We enjoyed dozens of oranges and when the time came for me to return home, I took a few with me. But before I left, she had her first two appointments with her physical therapist. I asked lots of questions and was assured that she was in excellent hands.
I got home and was happy to reunite with my family, just in time to start planning Christmas. Christmas this year would be a quiet one after all of the traveling and excitement of the past fall.
A song that I’d written and recorded between our return from AZ and my trip to LA was finalized, mixed and mastered in our recording studio in Jacksonville while I was out of town. On December 15th, I released “My Cool Drink of Water” a melodic and lyrical expression of my appreciation of God during these challenging and confusing times. It was the official start of the 3rd album Kenny and I will be working on in 2022.
We did indeed have a very blessed Christmas, and prayed very hard for a new year free of the challenges we’d had during the last two.
If you read my lengthy blog articles when my son Brandon became so sick with Cov19 last summer (June 2020), you may recall my thought process when it came to the treatments we sought and were denied. I am not a medical doctor, but I have enough medical training in anatomy, physiology and pathology to hold a medical practitioner license in the state of Florida as a clinical manual/medical massage therapist in the field of physical therapy. On top of that, I believe my 26 years as a mother provides me with even more experience and credentials as far as a caregiver ensuring the well-being of my family.
Just like the rest of the world in early 2020, this pandemic took me by surprise and threw everything off kilter for our family. News coverage and the government spokespeople voices had us shaken, concerned and aware that this was serious. I didn’t believe the rumors it was all a hoax of some sort, because I knew people were getting sick. I saw that when doctors all over the world came forward explaining the success of protocols they were following, my ears perked up, and I sighed with relief because although we couldn’t possibly see a vaccine for years (because it does take YEARS for development, trials and approvals), we would have safe, proven, successful therapeutic medications to help us through this crisis.
But.
But then those tried-and-true medications were suddenly discredited despite dozens of doctors assuring their safety and success. When my son was so ill and I was laser focused on his recovery, the medications that I’d heard were safe, used for decades and inexpensive were suddenly ABSOLUTELY unavailable. I begged our family doctor to please let us try, and the doctors office we’d trusted for over two decades, flatly refused.
Hmmm.
And then I realized … the innoculation is the goal.
I researched. I learned. I researched and cross-referenced. I read and read. My eyes were opened. I put puzzle pieces together. I didn’t go to one resource, I went to hundreds. I asked questions. And then I watched as people that I agreed with become censored and become cancelled. Punished, discredited … all by the familiar mainstream media and by social media.
Oh my God. This was really happening. Division, hate, threats, fear-mongering.
When the time came for my age group to have the “blessed opportunity” of the miracle vac_cine, a FASTER THAN EVER in WORLD HISTORY immune drug I said ….
No.
I could go on and on, but I will not. I choose to respect others for their thoughts, their decisions and their actions. I only ask the same in return. Again, if you read my earlier posts, you would know that I passionately believe that making us wear masks over our noses and mouths not only did NOT protect us from others and vice versa, but actually would cause us harm by reducing our oxygen intake, increasing our carbon dioxide and increasing our likelihood of contracting a bacterial pulmonary infection such as pleurisy and pneumonia.
But back to the syringes … I’ve never been an anti va_ccin_er. All of my children have received their full schedule of shots over the years, but this was different. When those opposing it for various reasons (health, religion, distrust) became shamed, I saw that coming. When they became vilified, I saw that coming, too. When people started to lose their JOBS, I was floored. And at the same time, I was further awakened. This whole thing was always about a shot. Always about weakening, dividing and controlling us.
I could talk about the reported cases of injuries and death from this injection, but you can do your own research. It’s hundreds of thousands worldwide. People that I know and love have gotten the shots and have gotten ill from it. I will not have my children injected. I have left our pediatric office of 23 years due to its persistent insistence on having my children injected. I could talk about the evil forces that are behind all of this, but I won’t. Just believe when I say that this isn’t about keeping anyone healthy. It’s quite the opposite, sadly.
I’ve learned of doctors and nurses having their medical licenses threatened for not promoting and performing these injections. I learned that their jobs were also threatened had they promoted or prescribed the forbidden therapeutic medication. When I learned that the same source from which the virus itself originated was the same source who created the syringe contents, it all made sense. When I learned that the syringe contents were created and patented before the virus was created (and it was not naturally created), it made even more sense.
As time has gone by, I’ve become more and more firm in my beliefs and relieved that we did not receive this injection. Sadly, one adult child has, and her health has suffered for it. My goal with her is to cleanse her body of the toxins and other harmful components of the two injections.
I respect those who have followed their hearts and their need to protect their families by getting the injection. If you want to wear masks, go ahead and do so. But no one should force anyone to do so.
At this point, all of us in my family have gotten the virus over the past year. We’ve all been sick, we’ve all recovered and we’ve all built a robust immunity. We don’t want the shot, and we all should have the right to make the decision as to getting it or not. At this point, now that we’re being coerced and FORCED under threat of job termination, my husband is wondering if he will possibly lose his job as a healthcare facilities architect. Only time and events to come will tell.
So, as with everything that comes along in my life, I turn to God for strength, for wisdom, for discernment of the truth, and for guidance in making decisions. I know we will all get through this somehow. I keep my eyes up, my heart open and my faith rooted firmly in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I will not put my trust in any human leader, only my God.
Sooooo excited to report that my band, Fran Pitre and Class Act is back to performing live after a 7 month break! I won’t be blogging about all of our upcoming performances on this site, but for this first one we performed at a local venue that warmly welcomed us, and so did the house! I cannot begin to express how happy I am to get the band back on stage!
For anyone interested in following my musical journey and upcoming events, please visit: franpitresings.com and follow my band page on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/FRANPITREandCLASSACT
Thank you for understanding how incredibly JOYFUL this opportunity is for this mom! Please remember to follow your dreams when the time is right. Remember that our dreams weren’t given to us by mistake.
Well, it’s been a year, folks! And here we are, one year since the start of spring break 2020 when so many questions were flying around about what was going on … what were we all going to do? Would we keep the kids home from school for a while? What about our jobs? How long was all of this going to last? Sigh. You know what I mean.
Just like everyone else, we just didn’t know what was out in front of us. There were so many questions, and there was so much to worry about.
If you keep up with my blog or if you scroll down and catch up, you’ll learn that we experienced COVID-19 in this family in a very serious way … just as so many families did. And in the beginning, we all felt stopped in our tracks, stunted, somewhat paralyzed and all harboring a constant level of fear and worry.
But as time went by, the Pitre family started to breathe and decided to stretch our legs, open our windows, and get back into life.
Never intending to debate political items on this blog (or anywhere, really … it’s not my thing), my take on wearing masks have never been one of “YES”, and the reason for that stems from my life as an asthmatic and from my knowledge and education in an aspect of medical field with focus on health and wellness. Our bodies were created to breathe, and not to live behind pieces of cloth that prevent sufficient and healthy oxygen intake and which cause us to breathe in our own bacteria, causing respiratory and pulmonary disease. However, my family and I complied with the safety mandates issued for protection out of respect for other people, businesses we entered, and so on. I absolutely was not (and am still not) a fan of long-term wear for health reason of the wearer, which was one reason I kept my youngest boys (our 3rd twin set) home from school all last fall.
But, time proved that our boys needed to return to school for both academic (Benjamin) and social (Sean) reasons. I know our college kids Erin and Brandon have had a touch time maneuvering college classes completely online, sometimes not moderated by any teacher or professor at all.
So our youngest boys returned to school after Christmas break, and have been doing very well. I try to put the image of them in masks all day out of my mind. I wash their reusable supply of masks each night in hospital strength antiseptic, and then let a hot dryer kill any remaining bacteria. So far, so good!
So, as we rounded the turn of 2020 to 2021, we exhaled and knew that somehow we’d all get through these very challenging and unique times in our lives. I do look back on 2020 and, although I really didn’t know what was all going to come of this global situation, I’m proud of how most people, once the shock had worn off, went on with life. And so did we.We adjusted … my husband Bruce is still very busily working from home as an architect and project manager of many local hospital projects and attending several meetings per week; the kids are all thriving through the school year; boy scout meetings, projects and camping trips have continued; our middle twin set, Erin and Brandon have each started new jobs; I’ve picked up some consistent contract-based graphic design work for extra income, I’ve studio recorded my updated book TWINS x 3 to be produced as an audiobook hopefully in about a year, and I survived 2 spontaneous shoulder dislocations and a third surgery and extensive rehab on that shoulder. Oh, and my music collaborator Kenny and I completed and released a second album of original music in Nov 2020.
Life continues to go on, and when the bouts of confusion, frustration and disappointment with interruptions occur, I just take a breath, pray for continued discernment, wisdom and the TRUTH, and most of all rely on my firm belief that God has all of this.
We all feel very secure and blessed. Yes, very blessed.
Yes, very blessed.
Life is meant to be lived, come what may. Get out into it. Breathe.
We are sooooo fortunate to live so close to the coast … only 7 miles from the beaches, and oh yes, we enjoy them all year round.
I was so excited when my kids agreed to work on one of the songs on the music album that was released just a few months ago. During 2020, the music always continued. The music performing was very stop and go, hit or miss, but my co-writer and I worked hard and put out a second album in November 2020. I’ve also been working on my updated book’s audio book recording. Completing that project will be jumping to the top of my project priority list soon!
In 2019, I wrote a song called “JUST LIKE THAT” … that life can change in the blink of an eye, but together, we can face anything. How appropriate for 2020. Here are 3 of the six recording harmonies and backup vocals on “JUST LIKE THAT” in the recording studio, Sept 2020.
As a family we hold tight, we pray a lot, we attend Mass online each week, and we get outside as much as possible. Bruce and I need to continue to reassure our kids that things were going to be okay, that no matter what, we stick together, even if things feel unsure and scary. So we keep our projects going, our lives as familiar as possible, and keep the course moving ahead, steady and strong.
Our eldest (1st born/1st set) daughter Kathryn and her fiance Jonathan decided to have a small, private marriage ceremony in Tucson last October (without family because we couldn’t travel), but we will all be going out there this coming autumn for an official marriage blessing and Mass celebrated by Kathryn’s uncle, our family priest (my brother), Scott.
Lauren (2nd born/1st set) lives away from us now in a house here in Jacksonville with two other girls, works full-time from her home office, but spends many weekends here at our home. For a while, when everyone was completely locked down and quarantined, it was torture not being able to be with her. Thankfully, that didn’t last too long. I plan to FINALLY visit my Mom and step-Dad soon, and hopefully we’ll be able to visit Bruce’s family in Louisiana soon, as well. Gosh it’s been 14 months since I’ve hugged my mom.
On a very personal note, this year has been a year of extremely powerful and exponential spiritual growth for me. Never in my life have I prayed, read my Bible (I read the One Year Bible each day) and dug down deeply to gather strength, conviction and determination to live. This past year has magnified and reinforced my dependence on God, and the ever-growing realization that I simply cannot survive and thrive without God’s guidance, comfort and support, but I also know that I can get through anything, that ALL of us can get through anything that this life throws at us, through Christ who’s strength empowers me.
Let’s choose to live with renewed purpose, love and a whole new level of appreciation for each and every person, and every single day.
When the new school year began this year, we parents in the state of Florida were given a choice when considering the threat of contracting Covid 19: do we keep our children home and continue distance learning, or do we equip them with face masks, hand sanitizer, and strict instructions for correct social-distancing practices and send them back to school?
Well, the good news, as I already stated is that here in the state of Florida, we were given the choice to either continue distance learning or allow our children to return to a brick-and-mortar school, back in the classroom. As parents, we should consider either determination of this choice correct. There is no correct or incorrect option considering this choice. The important thing is to choose what is best for your children, for your peace of mind as a parent, and for what you feel is best for your family.
Following the traumatic summer of older son being being very ill with the cornona virus, when August arrived, I was simply not ready to send my youngest two boys back to school for fear that we’d be inviting another case or two of this virus into our family. So we decided to continue distance learning from our home. Sean and Ben have been attending 6th and 7th grade via Microsoft Teams through a secure site on our county school system’s site referred to as “Home Room”. Our teachers (God Bless them all) are teaching students in their classroom along with those who have opted to learn from home.
After a few weeks of adjustments and tweaking, my boys and I fell into a groove of getting up, getting dressed, eating breakfast and then sitting down at 8:30 am to begin their first scheduled classes. The days continue through their classes with a few breaks (and lunch), followed by my orders to “now go out and ride your bikes!” when the school day is over.
As the weeks and months have progressed, I’ve done my best to help each child stay on top of their classwork and homework assignments amid computer issues and internet disruptions. I received many assignment pages to print out, and then to upload once completed. Different teachers approach assignment tasks differently than others, and there have been changes, inconsistencies and problems to solve throughout our experience. It’s been frustrating, and as time has passed, I’ve questioned effectiveness of long-term online learning for my middle-school students. Are my boys truly learning well? Are they able to connect with their teachers, ask enough questions, feel that they are participating and keeping up with the subject matter? In some instances, their grades and my discussions with their teachers have indicated that they are, but in many instances, they’re not.
So I started to weigh the options again between distance learning and possibly returning them to the classroom, and again, I feel very fortunate to live in a state where we currently have the choice between attending school either in the classroom or virtually.
Where I stand today, my plan is to transition our boys back to the classroom after the Christmas break, at the start of this school year’s third quarter. The boys will be equipped with fresh personal protection equipment recommended by a friend who works healthcare, which has successfully protected her and her children so far.
What changed my mind?
I realize that there is a current surge in corona virus cases due to weather changes, as it would align with this year’s flu season, and that I, as a mother, must do everything I can to protect my children. And as parents, we must take into account all factors of our children’s well-being. I’ve realized that as the school year has progressed, my boys have demonstrated the symptoms of isolation, of frustration, irritability, most likely due to their lack of socialization. I’ve begun to wonder if my desire to keep them from getting ill from this virus (a survivable virus in more than 99% of cases) has been causing my children harm and in more ways than the virus, if they were to contract it, would.
I feel slightly more confident to move in this direction of sending them back to school for two reasons. 1- it appears evident that the virus is mutating and weakening. Those that I personally know who have become ill, do not appear to be as ill or for the illness to be as long-lasting as it has been in during last winter and in the spring/summer; and 2- therapeutics and medication protocols have tremendously improved as compared to treatment guesses that were enlisted last spring. In fact, therapeutic approaches have improved significantly and are more readily available even compared to July and August when my son Brandon was sick. I plan to continue the preventative measures we have been using for months: Vitamins D and C along with daily zinc supplements together with healthy nutrition and plenty of sleep. And if our two healthy young boys are to contract the virus, we and our doctor know what measures to take for their recoveries.
And if others in our immediate family catch the virus, hopefully we’re young and health enough to manage well.
For now, starting our second school quarter, and as we approach the holidays and the end of this incredible year 2020, we plug along just like everyone else, making the best choices for our families, staying positive and faithful, and looking forward to a safe and healthy 2021!
What are your thoughts on this subject? How are you handling your children’s education today? Please share your comments, questions and thoughts for further discussion!
I want to start out by saying again that we are just one family among millions touched by the effects of this serious pandemic. Because we are living it first-hand on a personal level, however, I feel strongly compelled to share the ongoing experience of our son Brandon’s illness.
During a text conversation with our next-door neighbor, Mary, she told me that she had seen Brandon walking to his car a few days ago. After he’d returned from his virus test appointment last Thursday (which came back negative), he’d parked along the curb in front of our mailbox, and we’d asked him to move his car into our driveway so it was no longer blocking our mail carrier’s access to our mailbox. Mary told me that when she saw him walking, she noticed his shoulders were hunched inward, his head was down, and he was moving very slowly. She expressed to me how much she hated to see him looking so defeated. She called out to him, “Brandon! Come on, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, you’ve got this!”
He replied to her, “Yeah, I know, but it’s so hard.”
He had shown signs of improvement over this past week, and told me that up until three days ago, he was beginning to feel overall “a lot better”. However, then another dip occurred, one of those dips which we know now is typical for many people who have had this virus. And so we continue to encourage positive self-talk, prayer and patience. While feeling physically weak, and having a hard time enduring as time continues on, he’s also frightened. Doctors admit to being perplexed by the unfamiliarity and unpredictability of this virus. That fact really shakes Brandon’s confidence. I wish I could remove his access to the internet, but any attempts to pry the cell phone from the the fingers of my 20-year-old son, despite his weakened state, just would not end well.
From left to right, Brandon on his 20th birthday in October 2019; his second ER visit July 6, 2020; and today July 18, 2020 while on his “tryna think positive” quest.
Bruce (my rock) and I remind Brandon that although his recovery is slow right now, and that it seems an eternity since he first isolated himself to his bedroom, he is improving. He’s demonstrating a typical saw-tooth, upwardly-trending recovery. We also remind him that things could have gone in a completely different direction. He must stay positive (in mindset, of course, and not in test-result), and this will end soon. He is our miracle. The fact that none of the rest of us have contracted the virus is also a miracle.
So they say that when it rains it pours. Sadly, our daughter Kathryn and her fiancée, Jonathan have decided to postponed their wedding. As the two-month away mark approaches, and the pandemic situation only worsens, it was agreed by all that postponing would be the best decision. However, it was still an emotional, heart-wrenching, and heart-breaking decision for them to make. We do, however, look forward to celebrating with them when there is no longer the worry and threat of this uninvited viral guest, and when all can anticipate and participate in their big day with joy and excitement.
And because things tend to occur in 3’s, my right arm is currently wrapped in an immobilizing sling. My previously twice-dislocated, and twice-operated-upon right shoulder dislocated yet again last Sunday evening, and after two failed ER attempts to relocate it (ouch), I was put under general anesthesia, and it was finally relocated. A third surgery to stabilize this worn-out joint is not far off.
So, the first purpose of this post is to provide an update to everyone who has asked for one, and to ask each of you to please instill in anyone you know who may hold on to the belief that this virus is some sort of game or hoax, that it’s absolutely not. I won’t express my opinion of its WHY or HOW, but I will certainly testify to its reality and to its severity. If my very healthy son can be taken down this way, please consider the health of your family when you go out and socialize, or choose to vacation in Disney World right now.
We are planning for Sean and Benjamin to continue home-learning this fall.
The second and equally-important purpose of this post is to express once again our deepest, most heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has provided us with love, support, a flood of prayers (they are working!), and for the several dropped-off-dinners we’ve appreciated and have enjoyed immensely.
We don’t know how tomorrow will play out. When do we ever know? We do know, however, that God is in control if we allow his grace in our lives during the good and during the difficult. We also hold strong to our faith that in trusting God and in supporting, respecting and loving each other, we will all get through this.
PSA: If my 20-year-old, very fit, active, health-conscious son can become this sick with COVID-19, then everyone PLEASE PAY ATTENTION, including the teenagers and other young adults! This is not a game, this is not fake. Take this SERIOUSLY.
Thank you for checking back in with us. It’s truly incredible how most people today have been directly affected by this pandemic to some degree: lost income, a closed business, inability to travel or see extended family and friends, cancelled plans, school and work-from-home, cabin fever, and, well, constant fear of the unknown. Honestly, our family has experienced all of those aspects on some level these last few months, but no inconveniences or disappointments hit home quite like our son contracting it. My heart goes out to everyone ill or caring for a loved one who is ill with this virus. My son Brandon is sick and he’s still really struggling.
They may be in college now, but they’re forever my little ones. Pictured here are my middle set of twins: Brandon (l), and Erin (r).
Having personally experienced my share of cold/flu viruses over the years, and having cared for our children when they’ve been sick with every common injury and illness, I have some know-how under my belt as far as responding to illnesses in our home. However, this one is not common. It’s not predictable. It’s not familiar. It is uncharted territory, and it’s symptom pattern and behavior are simply mysterious.
So we wait, we monitor, we manage and we pray.
Over the past 11 days since I last posted, Brandon has experienced unfamiliar, unsettling and sometimes frightening symptoms. When he initially began to feel a bit better than he had during the first week and a half, Bruce and I started to breathe easy again. Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived and had us tricked. His symptoms progressed from the initial flu-like fever, aches, cough, lack of appetite, complete lack of senses of smell and taste, headache and fatigue to an increase in appetite, increased energy, and the desire to sit outside for a few minutes every day. But then he took some dips, which we expected based on what others have reported experiencing. Knowing he had now reached the two-week mark, he made himself an appointment to be retested, but there wasn’t an available appointment for a week.
And we wait, we manage, we monitor and we pray.
His last setback started on the Thursday afternoon prior to the 4th of July weekend, and he hasn’t improved since. He hasn’t feel well at all, describing a slightly increased temperature (no higher than 99 degrees), with chills, muscle and joint aches and practically no appetite and now diarrhea. Where he had started several days ago to disinfect his room and bathroom, and had increased energy, everything suddenly regressed. My instincts told me that a possible secondary infection was brewing.
Another, and one of the most difficult, symptom he’s experiencing are enormous ANXIETY attacks. These episodes may be a result of the neurological effects of the virus itself, or a response to all of the other symptoms, but whatever the reason, it’s a real and very challenging symptom, both for the person experiencing it and for those taking care of the person.
Monday morning (today) arrived and at 8am sharp I had him call our doctor’s office and spoke with our family doctor’s nurse who has experienced this virus herself. Because Brandon does not have a negative test status, he cannot be seen by our doctor. Understandably, but incredibly ironic and frustrating because the wait is so long for his retest appointment. As the day has gone on, his stress level, his discomfort and hard-to-describe overall symptoms have worsened, so we called two urgent care facilities, the second of which allowed him to come in and be examined. He’s there right now.
And we continue to wait and pray.
THIS IS DEPRESSING.
In addition to the physical affects that this virus has had on Brandon, he’s also been struggling to keep a positive attitude. Fear can be a powerful force, and as the days and weeks have progressed, his ability to cope has decreased. His anxiety bouts coupled with a deepening depression that he may not recover has gotten a grip on him. We have talks and I try so hard to lift him up, encourage him, comfort him, reassure him, but honestly, I just don’t know. His girlfriend has also been trying to help during long phone conversations.
As a family of faith we hold tight and turn to prayer and scripture. We’ve been referring to verses regarding trust and patience. We’ve also been encouraging anything and everything humorous … movies, series, games. Anything to lift his spirits and take his mind off feeling crappy.
As for me, and please bear with my digression, as this is for all of the women/moms reading this. I’m trying not to, but I’m struggling, too. I’m doing everything I can think of to help my sick child while I try to protect the rest of my family. Some days I’m doing okay. Some days, I wish I was handling it all better. I’ll say again that I know that everyone is suffering from the virus, from the affects of the fear, from the the fighting, from the unrest, and from all of the hate. So, since writing things down is what I do, I’m going to share my feelings here:
I’m worried about my son. I’m worried about my husband and the rest of my children. I’m worried that my mom, my step-dad and my mother-in-law will become ill with this horrible thing. I’m angry because this shouldn’t be happening in the first place. I’m angry at the way people on social media don’t hesitate to express their opinions while they spew insults and disrespect the equally-valid opinions of others. I’m angry that I had to stop working, lose a significant amount of income, and stop moving forward with music and writing projects, plans and goals. I’m heartbroken for my daughter as she tries to plan for a wedding while this ominous gray cloud casts an enormous shadow over an event that she wants to be, and should be, excited about. Lastly, I don’t sleep. I. Don’t. Sleep. I have been trying to increase my physical activity to reduce stress and encourage sleep. I began to incorporate melatonin and some extra stretching to release tension.
Ok, enough of that.
We will get through this, I have no doubt. Thank you for spending time reading this post, and many thanks to all of our friends and family for checking in with us so often. We feel your prayers, we feel your love, and we know we’re blessed to have your friendship and support. I see many miracles each day and I know that many more, large and small, will happen as a result of this crisis we’re all experiencing. I’m grateful for God’s love and protection, for the beautiful cardinals who stay close to our home these days, and to the hawk family who have a brand new family in one of our backyard trees. I’m thankful for funny movies, goofy games played with my kids, and for wine. I wish I wasn’t quite as thankful for comfort foods these days. Stupid pasta.
UPDATE:
(Tues 6:15 pm) Thank you all for each of your texts, messages, facebook posts and blog comments. We are absolutely overwhelmed by the support we’ve received from each and every one of you.
So, after a long night in the ER on extra O2 and IV fluids, Brandon (with Bruce there with him) received the results of his CT scan of his lungs and abdominal organs which was CLEAR: no pneumonia. His 2nd COVID test, however, still came back positive. The test will indicate positive if there’s any viral presence. The numbers were probably initially quite high and are probably quite low now, but still present. After stabilizing his O2 levels (which had been lower than they liked when he first arrived), and after he demonstrated the ability to maintain his body temp, he came home early this morning. If he had been admitted to the hospital, he would have been placed in isolation with other Covid-positive patients, where we would not be able to stay with him, so the decision was made to send him home. We’re hoping that this was his last set back, and that with time, he recovers completely.
We appreciate all the prayers, support and offers for meals!! We love you all !! We ask that God protect each and every one of you and your families. Thank you!
(Mon 9:54 pm) Ascension/St. Vincents Urgent Care wants to transport him to Baptist Hospital (downtown Jacksonville) in order to get his blood oxygen levels up and stable. We are awaiting the results of his retest. If it’s negative, he will not be placed with other Covid patients, and Bruce can stay with him. All prayers are welcome!
