Update on my son Brandon

Tuesday: It’s been one week since his symptoms began and Brandon has not had a good day. He’s frequently nauseous and his lack of appetite leaves everything I prepare for him only slightly touched. His is, however, staying hydrated, as I insist. He has lung discomfort, tightness, throat pain and coughing. He feels weak, unsteady, and very tired. His sensitivity to cold has been challenging since the other three kids are hot if the A/C setting is raised upstairs, especially at night. I’ve encouraged him to close his room’s air vent and to open his window to let in fresh, warm summer air. He and my friend Mark have been texting back and forth, and I’m so grateful for that connection. Although they both feel cruddy, they have vented to each other here and there, and compare symptoms with each other. As for sources of comfort: He has reported to me that he feels a direct correlation between drinking “fizzy-tab water” and feeling better. He’s referring to the molecular hydrogen dissolving tablets that I’ve been giving him once a day. It does really seem to help! I have coached the benefits of this product to my clients, and I believe in its benefits from my personal experience, so I’m so glad that this product is helping my son through his recovery.

Wednesday: When I asked him how he was feeling today, he answered that he’d slept pretty well, but was still tired. He still has been experiencing body aches and weird chills, despite his temperature not exceeding 98-99 degrees. He continued to sleep much of the day. He has expressed that his anxiety level, however, has dropped and that he feels much more relaxed. Thank goodness!

Gratitude

And speaking of thanking, I want to focus now on being grateful for the blessings that always bubble up during the struggles in our lives, as they have now … for the continuing miracles and silver linings revealed in the midst of our stormy weather.

The response to my previous blog article has been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. Thank you, everyone, from the depths of my heart. It’s always apparent through the many crises we experience in our lives, that we just have to look for the helpers, those angels who God sends us when we need them. I’ve also received warm responses of love, prayers and support from all of our friends and family with phone calls and text messages. Friends two doors down dropped off a large bowl of Filipino Pancit a few days ago because they know we (and especially Brandon) love it! One of my closest friends will be bringing us a full dinner tonight of baked spaghetti, salad, garlic bread and, oh, chocolate cake. I’ve instructed all meal-deliverers to drop and run since up to this point, we had not received our test results yet. Thank you everyone!

I sat on our back patio and reached back out via fb messenger to the bassist, Mark, who has been texting Brandon. I told him that I simply couldn’t adequately express my gratitude for his time and his efforts. I told him that I was sorry that he’s been going through this, too, and that we all have him and his family in our prayers. I told him that he has been a true example of a storm cloud’s silver lining. I’d hoped that my expression of appreciation would help to lift and comfort him, as well. I later read his fb post where he wrote that he’d been texting the 20-yr-old son of a local fellow musician, and that he was happy that he could help encourage someone else going through this.

Slow test results, but finally …

Brandon had received his COVID-19 test results in 2 days. It has been 5 days since the rest of us had our tests administered. It’s clear that the increased demands for tests have slowed the processing and result-reporting time. I took a chance and called the center where we had tested, and the tech that answered actually looked up our results in his system. After I provided him with correct privacy information, he relayed to me that Sean, Benjamin and myself all tested NEGATIVE. Phew. At least we knew now that we were not exposed from the same source that infected Brandon, and that we were not able to expose others back before Brandon had tested positive, nor when his symptoms were early. This status, of course, could change. We’ll only know in time if we haven’t contracted it FROM Brandon. I pray that our negative status remains that way.

Erin is over 18 and I was not able to receive her results. She called the center herself and was told her results were not back yet. Bruce was tested elsewhere and is also awaiting his results.

Thursday (today): Aside from the times that I sit in our upstairs loft along the wall about 8 feet away from Brandon’s bedroom door and chat with him as he sits at the end of his bed or walks near his ajar doorway, we communicate via phone (voice and text). I texted him a couple of times this morning to ask if he had any appetite and would like to eat, but he didn’t respond. After a bit, I went upstairs and knocked, backed up, and waited. He opened his door to say that he just hadn’t slept well last night, but had slept well this morning. And yes, he would like to try to eat.

He’s been quiet today. I’m leaving him to rest. Although I’m aware that this illness can last 3-6 weeks, as I learned from our pediatrician’s nurse that I brain-picked yesterday for 45 minutes, I believe in my heart that Brandon will be ok. He will muscle his way through this. He’s young and strong. I also know that having a good day on Monday may mean a rough day on Tuesday. Both Brandon and Mark have reported this fact to me.

Mother Bear

The mother bear was born in me the moment I found out that I was pregnant for the first time. She’s been there, ready to reveal her claws should anything threaten the well being of any of my children. I understand the instinctively fierce need for mothers to protect their children.

I felt the bear begin to waken inside me when this virus first made headlines, when it entered our country, our state, our county, our part of town. My anxious need to do everything in my power to protect my family became a primal focus of mine. And when my son became ill, the bear became fully awake and emerged … clearly, strongly and without question. Not only was my child sick, but the remaining children living in our home were now threatened. For the very first time since our older girls moved out, I was glad that they didn’t live here. However, would my other children get sick with this potentially life-threatening illness, too? My claws would like nothing more than to shred to pieces the forces responsible for the creation and unleashing of this scourge.

Ok, I won’t go on and on here … most people reading this understand what I’m talking about.

Before receiving our COVID-19 tests results yesterday, we’d been waiting and waiting to find out the status of the remaining five of us. I realize that the testing sites’ staff members have been inundated and overworked with this recent spike in local cases, but, since we notified people in our lives that Brandon was a positive case, we’ve been receiving concerned inquiries about our health. Of course, my mother has been wondering if our test results were back. Of course, Bruce’s coworkers have been inquiring as to our status, and many of them have gotten tested themselves.

But no one has been more pressing, more regularly and relentlessly inquiring than the “neighbor”. Remember her … the one I mentioned in my previous post? Although I assured her that as soon as I received our results, I would notify her, this assurance was not sufficient for her. She has felt the need to text me almost daily to find out if I’ve heard. No one could be more frustrated than me with the slow response in test results notification, but this person was beginning to drive me insane. By this past Tuesday (2 days ago), already stressed beyond belief, I replied: “Hello, as I have already promised, I will let you know when I find out. The labs must be running behind due to the increase in tests. Please know that I sincerely hope that you and your family aren’t impacted by this virus, but if you are at some point, I also sincerely hope that no one causes you to feel as repulsive, feared, and pressured as we have been made to feel.”

Always preferring to take the high road, however, I then texted, “May I call you?” A few minutes later, we were speaking (with voices) on the phone. I introduced myself to her, and we began to carry on a decent, amiable conversation. I explained that I understood her concern that her children may have been exposed to this virus unknowingly by my two young sons back before we knew Brandon was ill. She assured me that she was also concerned for our family. In my mind, I thought, how can you be? You don’t even know us. We hung up after I told her that, again, I would let her know as soon as we were notified of the results.

On Wednesday late afternoon, less than a minute after I’d hung up with the testing center with our results, I received another text from “neighbor”. My screen read: “Any results yet? My parents want to stop by and visit, but we don’t want them near our children until we know if Sean or Ben exposed them, so please get back to me as soon as possible!”

AAAAGGGHHHH!!! I replied: “15 second ago, I learned that the boys and I tested negative.” Her response: “Wonderful! Now you can concentrate on your son’s recovery. Let me know if you need anything!”

I wanted to reply: “Thank you, because if I ever need further harassment, I certainly know who to call!”. But I didn’t. I decided instead just to leave her on read.

My advice to everyone reading this: We are ALL concerned about our families. All moms have internal mother bears. However, please learn the following from my experience: It is never okay to hound and harass another stressed-out worried mom under the guise of concern for her family when clearly the motive is purely self-centered.Trust that she will get back to you as she agreed, show some tact, sensitivity, genuine care … and leave her and her family alone.

Enough about that.

Well, we still don’t have Erin’s or Bruce’s test results. And again, these were tests taken last week. Things can change. This crisis is far from over, and will probably impact every family at some point, to some extent, before it’s a terrible thing of the past. My heart breaks for all who are suffering from this or from its effects.

My daughter and her fiancé were engaged over a year, announced their wedding date this past Christmas, and have been planning their wedding out of town. The wedding is to be in September. They have been trying to continue on as planned, but now are not sure whether to postpone or not. For now, she is simply overwhelmed and a bit heartbroken that her wedding plans have been so overshadowed by this insidious virus.

However, as I’ve encouraged my daughter, we must stay positive, pray for guidance, and keep moving forward. Bruce continues to work hard from home every day; the boys are keeping occupied with legos, board/card games and online gaming with friends; Erin continues to hole up in her room staying busy with summer online college classwork until her test results come in; I continue to keep the house clean, prepare meals, write song lyrics and blog posts and play my keyboard; all while Brandon continues to heal and recover.

We pray without ceasing.

Until my next post, I’d like to leave my readers with this:

Angels are everywhere. God is everywhere. There is good everywhere, and good will win in the end. God is love and love never fails. One day we will look back and be grateful that we kept our heads high, our faith firm, and our attitudes positive. Love one another and accept the love and help of the angels in our lives when we need them, and then be the angels for others when they need us. Enjoy comfort food including chocolate cake. It’s as simple as that.

Oh, and please don’t harass anyone, ever, especially a stressed-out mother bear.

Update (6/28): Erin’s and Bruce’s test results arrived late yesterday. It took 8 days to receive these results.

And, not surprisingly, the consistent text messages of concern for our family abruptly ceased once I notified the neighbor that our youngest boys’ tests were negative.

Photo credits: 1– Cross hands over heart (messymarvelous.com), 2– Mother Bear (paulnicklen.com)