We all have that one child that sees something and must comment about it, no matter how much we internally pray that he won’t notice it, and heaven forbid actually SAY something out loud about it. Then it happens, and we’re absolutely FLOORED … our heart rate increases, we start to sweat, we desperately try to cough, distract, or just grab our kid and run away as fast as we can ….
I’ve been cursed …
It’s probably cosmic pay-back or the curse your mom puts on you that she “hopes you have a child just like you one day”. I’m here to day that the curse does work, it does exist.
When I was a small child I would point out everything I noticed and stated everything I thought about. My mother often tells the story of the time our family greeted our pastor after mass one Sunday when I was about five years old, and I reached up and said, “Were we good in church Mommy, or are you gonna beat us again?” Now, my parents may have given us bottom spankings when we deserved them, but we were never BEATEN. My mother was mortified! Today, DCF may be notified …
Another time, a elderly man who was a family friend came to dinner. This gentleman had a rather large mole on his nose. My mother made a point of NOT SEATING HIM NEXT TO ME at the dinner table specifically due to my tendencies to verbally-observe. However, after asking if I could sit next to him, the gentleman said, “why of course you can!” To this my mother inwardly groaned. Sure enough, during dinner I noticed the mole, and my mother noticed that I noticed the mole. As I began to furrow my eyebrows and to slowly reach up my little index finger to verbally observe, my mom suddenly jumped up and shouted, “DESSERT ANYONE!!??”
To the check out boy: I hope he didn’t scar you for life …
And so the tradition has continued with my own children.
While standing at the grocery store check-out counter with my then 5-year-old boy/girl set of twins, I couldn’t help but notice the male, teenage check out clerk’s unfortunate prevalent case of full-facial acne. I began to repeatedly inner chant to myself, “please don’t let Brandon say anything to this young man”. But within only seconds, my sweet, compassionate son emphatically announced to this young man, “It’s okay, I had chicken pox really bad on my face, too! Don’t worry, your mommy can give you an oatmeal bath and put some lotion all over your body to make you feel better!
I’ll bet you’re glad you asked …
When I was walking out of our local library with two 12-year-olds, two 7-year-olds and a double stroller carrying two infants, an older woman who was approaching the door to enter, stepped aside and allowed our parade to exit the building. I thanked her for her patience, and she replied, “Are those all your children?” When I replied that they were, she then stated, “Wow, I’m glad it’s you, and not me,” … to which my 7-year-old daughter responded, “we’re glad it’s not you, too!”
The above article was submitted to Parents.com on 3/13/19 for story contributions of “the most embarrassing/funny things their child has said out loud”.
One more tidbit (shared by one of my Instagram followers)
The one that stands out for me: Standing in line in a VERY CROWDED post office holding the baby also with a toddler and a 5yo who, at the moment, was rubbing my leg. Then she shouted for ALL to hear “Momma, you’re not wearing any underwear!” Mortified I then proceeded to show everyone that I WAS INDEED wearing underwear! 😱😂😂