The summer at the Pitre house was pretty quiet this year. Aside from Bruce and Benjamin spending a week in North Georgia at boy scout camp, we stayed pretty close to home. We stayed busy with work, some projects, some overnights trips to visit and help my Mom in Orlando who recently moved to a new apartment, and my band had a pretty busy gig schedule.
But before we knew it, it was time to get ready for Sean to start 9th grade… high school, and Benjamin is now in 10th grade!
left: Benjamin and Sean kicking off kindergarten, and right: Sean (9th grade) and Benjamin (10th grade)
We call ourselves the “FINAL FOUR” … the last two kids teenaged kids and their parents, and lately the final four have been enjoying the spring weather here in Northeast Florida before the HOT arrives, and we know it will!
We didn’t go out of town for the kids’ spring break from school, but enjoyed hiking our local Jacksonville Arboritum, cycling with Ben’s boy scout troop, and attending Sean’s school’s annual spring carnival.
And before we knew it, the celebration of Easter had arrived!
I hope you and your family have been enjoying the spring of 2023. We’ve rounded the final bend of the school year and take the home stretch to summer break!
Soaking in our beautiful Jacksonville Arboritum, April 2023Benjamin, 15, earning cycling merit badge with his scouts troop, April 2023Sean, 15, standing next to the poster for the Spring Carnival that he designed, April 2023They may not be little kids anymore, but they still love decorating Easter eggs! April 2023Our church’s beautiful Easter Vigil Mass that included Baptisms, Confirmations and first Holy Communion for many new Christians. He is Gloriously Risen, Alleluia!Gorgeous Easter eggs, created by Pitre kidsYeager, our Erin’s pup wishing everyone a Happy Easter!
There comes a time when we realize how fast our children are growing, and at the same time we realize how quickly our parents are aging. We find ourselves transitioning from our dependency on our parents (and you know how much we lean on them long after we’ve moved out and start our own families) to now worrying about them. We start to notice that they are slowing down, that they aren’t as energetic as in years past. They may be starting to lean on us as the roles now have reversed.
It is at this point that we are concerned for both the daily well-being and needs of our growing children AS WELL as our aging parents. We check in with Mom to find out how the last doctor’s appointment went for her more so than we would to let her know how our appointment went.
We are now sandwiched as care-givers for the generations below AND above us. Welcome to the sandwich generation.
Some of you who know our family’s history will recall that my husband Bruce’s Dad Royce Pitre was diagnosed with lung cancer from asbestos exposure (akin to mesothelioma) back in early 2003. In the summer of 2004, Royce passed on. In the late fall of 2012, my Dad, Cliff Circe was diagnosed with bladder cancer (due to decades as a cigarette smoker) and passed in early December 2012.
Where Bruce’s Mom, Sylvia never married again, my mom Virginia (Gigi) remarried in the summer of 2013. We all love Jim, and I lovingly refer to him as my StepDad. In the last 18 months or so, during all of this pandemic psyop, our 3 living parents (all now in their early 80s) have had a really hard time, and we’re very aware of their ages. Although before the pandemic, we all spent time together often as our family, the pandemic dictated that we become and remain careful not to risk virus exposure to our elderly loved ones. But due to increasing health problems, I’ve taken many trips to visit my Mom and Jim, and we’ve visited Bruce’s family in Louisiana as much as possible, much of which visiting was due to the activities related to the wedding of our daughter Kathryn during the summer and fall of 2021.
My Mom and StepDad with our daughter Kathryn, and Bruce and I (right) at last dance at JU, 2018
It was during this family wedding trip in Tucson when my mother-in-law Sylvia fell, badly injured our left shoulder, and then needed a full shoulder replacement before she could return to Houma, Louisiana. After her surgery, her transportation home with family members, and the start of her recovery, I flew to Louisiana to stay with Sylvia. She’s lived alone since her husband’s passing, but many family members live nearby, I knew I could help her rehabilitate due to my clinical training in physical therapy as a manual therapist. I offered my help to assist her while she rested during the important healing process prior to the start of her physical therapy plan of care several weeks away. The other family members who live there in town with Sylvia all work full-time jobs. Initially they created a rotation of care-givers who would stay overnight with her in the early weeks after her surgery, but it was a hard schedule to sustain. Because I can work my graphic design business, write music and coordinate music events straight from my laptop, I had the ability to move in with Sylvia for several weeks knowing that Bruce could handle our home and family in Jacksonville without me for a while. I was able to care for her, cook, clean, grocery shop and drive her to appointments.
Meanwhile back in central Florida, my step Dad’s diabetes and COPD became increasingly severe following a heart attack he suffered shortly after having his gall bladder removed in November of 2020. Eventually, his failing health has put him under hospice home care as needed. My mom’s physical health is ok, but it’s been very taxing on her to care for her declining husband.
After visiting Houma this past early July 2022, I was at my parent’s home in western Orlando, for a weekend when I received a text message from my sister-in-law in Louisiana that they had taken Sylvia to the ER because she had fallen in her home. She had broken her right wrist and needed surgery to place a stabilizing plate. I asked if she wouldn’t mind having me come back once the surgery was done so I could help her as I had last fall, and she welcomed me back. This time I drove to Louisiana and stayed about 10 days so I could cook, clean, drive her to appointments and keep her company. After leaving, the other family members needed to come and help daily to make sure she was doing okay. She was weak and unsteady from pain medication and residual effects of anesthesia, and while I was there, she had a bad reaction to some medication and back to the ER we went. Her sleep patterns were backwards so I didn’t get much sleep while staying there. I returned home to Jacksonville exhausted but ready to pop back into my role as mom caring for my own family’s needs.
So, I’m back at home, but I keep my suitcase nearby in case I need to drive to stay with my Mom in Orlando or drive back to Louisiana. At the same time, I still have a 9th grader, an 8 grader and one in his last year of college. Six of us still are under our roof … just a lot going on!
We’ve had some family discussions and have decided to have Sylvia visited daily by their local Council on Aging organization. They offer free services from meals-on-wheels to help with appointment transportation. We hope that she’ll regain her strength and go back to being as independent as she always has been, but with each passing year, and with each injury set back, it’s becoming harder to recapture her confidence, her stability and self-reliance.
My mom is so grateful for their hospice system there in Orlando. The nurses and aides are wonderful, and help with medication and with Jim’s growing personal needs such as dressing and bathing. They also offer respite time where he stays in a close-by nursing care facility so Mom can have a few days to rest, focus on herself and their home, and to get some errands done.
There are many resources if you know who and where to ask.
Here are a couple of articles that I found that explain the experiences many of us are living right now.
I’ll keep everyone posted on our family as always. It’s difficult to face the mortality of our parents, but this is life and these times give us opportunities to return the love and care that our parents gave us throughout our lives. I can never thank our parents enough for all of their support, love and help during challenging times for me, especially their help when our 3 different sets of twins were all newborns.
Are any of my readers going through a similar experience? It actually feels like another season of life, this sandwich phase. I’d love your feedback!
After a full year of spiritual growth and preparation, our youngest boys Sean and Benjamin were Confirmed on Saturday evening, April 23, 2022: their formal, personal confirming of their faith in Jesus Christ, receiving the gifts of the Holy Spirit, and embracing our Catholic faith as young adults in the church.
l to r: Benjamin, Bishop of Diocese of St. Augustine Phillipe Estevez, Sean and Fran’s brother, Fr. Scott CirceSean making his Confirmation with sponsor Brandon supporting him.Benjamin making his Confirmation and receiving blessings while Fran’s brother Cliff Circe supports Ben.Our boys and their proud Dad and Momma!l to r: Bruce, Erin, Fran’s sister-in-law Patty Circe, Fran’s brother Cliff Circe, Fran, Sean, Brandon, Benjamin, Fran’s brother Scott Circe and Lauren
We’re so proud of our young men, and also proud of our son Brandon for being Sean’s sponsor, and my brother Cliff Circe for being Benjamin’s sponsor. We also thank my sister-in-law Patty Circe for celebrating with us, and very special thanks to my brother Fr. Scott Circe who concelebrated this very special Mass of Confirmation candidates which included his nephews, one being his Godson, Benjamin.
Not long after the start of the brand new year, my band had a great gig at a local venue where we normally play outside on a covered patio with a boat marina back drop, however, on January 14th, with temps in the upper 30s, we opted to set up our band equipment inside. We had a great evening with lots of friends who came out to join and support us.
I started to feel sick about 5 days later. I took a home cov test which came back positive so I stayed in my room to hole up as I had done last summer when I had symptoms, but go out to get tested. This time, I felt like I had the flu. Fever, headache, body aches, nausea, diarrhea, congested upper respiratory cough and nasal congestion and fatigue. The flu (aka cov19) lasted about two weeks and the fatigue lasted another two. By late Feb, I was fine again, and so was Bruce. His symptoms were body aches and fatigue (and a minor dry cough). I was glad he hadn’t felt as bad as I did to begin with.
When my stomach symptoms eased up, I was able to start taking some medication that I was confident would help me recover quickly. It was the same medication I was able to secure for Erin when she was sick last summer, but which were DENIED when my son was very ill the year before. I contacted America’s Frontline Doctorsonline who offered telephone appointments and called in prescriptions for HcQ (the forbidden yet tried-and-true successful therapeutic) plus a course of antibiotics to prevent any infections, all for a reasonable fee, and worth every cent. I am a life-long asthmatic, but I never became very sick. I’m so thankful for AFD!
By March 5th, I was performing on all cylinders with my band again, and we all crushed a four-hour gig!
Fran Pitre & Class Act, MaviJax, Jacksonville Beach 3/5/22 …. kickin it into gear!
I realize that Bruce and I were blessed not to have terrible cases of cov19. I do know that it’s real, have always taken it seriously, and I’ve lost more than one friend to the illness and also to the injection. I don’t have the answers, but my number one priority is the care and safety of my family. I will protect my children at all costs.
Most importantly, I continue to pray and look up to our Lord knowing that HE has the answers, and that He “is the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE” … John 14:6.
With our daughter Kathryn’s wedding coming up on Friday evening, October 22nd, we packed up and left for a 3 and 1/2 day road trip from Jacksonville, FL to Tuscon, AZ. We didn’t, however, all ride out together. Based upon Erin’s and Brandon’s work and school schedules, they both flew out and back at various times. So Bruce, Lauren, Sean, Benjamin and I hit the road early on Saturday Oct. 16th.
We had a great time traveling out westward, stopping to explore San Antonio, Carlsbad Caverns, and a glimpse of Mexico over the Rio Grande.
Remember the Alamo! (San Antonio TX) l to r: Benjamin, Sean, Lauren and BruceThe incredible Carlsbad Caverns.You can see Mexico from here!
When we arrived in Tuscon on Tuesday afternoon and finished hugs all around, Kathryn and all of her bridesmaids hit the road to Scottsdale for a two day bachelorette party … to replace the planned girls’ trip to New Orleans back in late August that was cancelled due to hurricane Ida. The groom took all his groomsmen up Mt Lemmon just an hour away for a little guy time. We went to our rental property to settle in …it was absolutely perfect and wonderfully spacious! Bruce’s brother and his wife plus my mother-in-law Sylvia arrived to stay with us, as did my brother Scott, our family Catholic priest who would be celebrating our bride and groom’s nuptial mass. Thursday evening was slated for the rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, which all went very smoothly until …
… until we arrived back at our rental home and my 82 yr old mother-in-law, while approaching the back door that entered the house from the garage, fell after failing to see the small step a few feet before the door and practically cartwheeled to the floor. I saw this happen from the passenger seat of our car because I’d not gotten out yet having just pulled in. Sylvia is always the first to get out and bolt quickly to whatever destination at which we’ve arrived! I was the first to arrive to her, and I could immediately see and very superficially feel that her left shoulder was completely dislocated. I not only knew from my medical training, but having had three dislocations myself. She expressed severe pain and I could see it clearly in her face. Well, long-story short: after she was transported via ambulance to a nearby hospital, she was not released, but told she would need surgery … full shoulder replacement surgery because she had not only dislocated the humerus from the socket, but had broken her humerus in 4 places and it was beyond repair. Fortunately, she was in the perfect medical center because it sat adjacent to the best orthopedic hospital in southern AZ.
The very next day was our daughter’s wedding, so Bruce’s brother Bert and his wife Vickie were designated Sylvia companions. One of the visiting cousins live streamed the wedding for Sylvia to view from her hospital bed.
The wedding was beautiful, emotional, and at times, hard to believe that it was happening after so planning, cancellations, then finally here. We are so proud of Kathryn and of Jonathan. Jon and Kathryn met in 2014, and have gone through so much together, and now made the commitment and vowed to love each other by celebrating the sacrament of Holy Matrimony.
Jon and Kathryn’s wedding with my brother Scott Circe officiating.The wedding party including Lauren (maid of honor next to Kathryn) and our other daughter Erin, next to Lauren, and our son Brandon, to the left in the photo of the man in shades (Jon’s brother Stephen).Bruce and I (father and mother of the brideThe six Pitre kidsDaddy and daughterMom and her girls! l to r: Erin, Fran, Kathryn and Lauren
I wished my own mom and stepdad could have been with us, but the distance was too much with my stepdad’s failing health. But aside from Sylvia’s accident, everything went smoothly and safely.
The evening after the wedding, we had a barbeque at our rental house for all, then it was time to start heading home for a northern route road trip this time. We rode up to Flagstaff and then on to the Grand Canyon, then into Colorado. We dropped Brandon off at the Flagstaff airport, and Erin off at the Denver airport, then the remaining five of us headed through Kansas, Missouri, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia and finally back home to Northeast Florida. All in all a very beautiful, memorable trip.
Seven Pitres at the Grand Canyon (I took the pic) l to r: Lauren, Brandon, Sean, Benjamin, Bruce and ErinGorgeous Colorado countryThe St. Louis arch! St. Louis, MO
I will admit that arriving back home was FANTASTIC! Our pup Simon really missed us although he was in good hands with Brandon’s girlfriend Kat and Erin’s boyfriend Josh. Poor Simon turns 15 in November this year, and although we know he has slowly failing kidneys, he’s still loving his walks, eating like a horse and loves his family despite his failing eye site and hearing.
Thank you for reading this blog post … it’s a typical proud momma story. We now have one child of our six officially married! We thank God all went fairly flawless and that everyone made it home safely. Sylvia had her surgery and flew home under the care of Bert and Vickie. She’s doing well and healing slowly but surely, thank the Lord.
Just had to share that this past weekend, May 27 and 28 was INCREDIBLE!
I had been asked by the executive director of the crisis pregnancy organization where I volunteer if I would sing “GOD BLESS AMERICA” at their annual fundraising gala. Well, this is not little gala … it’s a 500+ person, elegant event held at the Renaissance Hotel ball room at the World Golf Village, with guest speakers, cocktail hour, TV cameras, hobnobbing and networking. It’s the single biggest source of funding that our center receives for all of their locations around town.
Well, I couldn’t do this without first consulting my #1 music collaborator, my songwriting composer right hand, Kenny. He composed an original backing track with piano for me to sing with and, although I was probably as nervous as I’ve ever been in my entire life, I pulled it off! As I was about to be introduced by the event’s MC, (a former “voice of the Jaguars” sports announcer) I believe than anyone in a 10 foot radius of me could hear my heart pounding. Bruce and I attended the gala together, which was very special because it fell on his birthday.
Quite an honor to be asked to perform “God Bless America” at yearly fundraiser gala!
ANNNND, the very next night our band had another gig, but no ordinary show … My kids and I planned a surprise for Bruce at the gig! I invited a bunch of his friends and co-workers, ordered a spread of food from the gig venue, and our daughter Lauren helped bring the cake I ordered! It was a huge success … he had no clue! He was quite happy!! Successful night #2!
Just a quick post to announce that, despite all of the craziness this past year has brought us, Kathryn and Jonathan feel confident that proceeding on with the new wedding date of October 22nd will work!
So, I’ll be hosting her bridal shower this summer (probably August) along with her twin sister Lauren and younger sister Erin and other bridesmaids including cousins in Louisiana. With Kathryn already in Tuscon, and me here in Jacksonville, it will be long distance planning and assisting in any way that I can. Since I must be honest, I admit that I wish soooo much that she wanted to have her wedding in her home town and home state where most of her family live, especially those who don’t feel comfortable traveling these days with flight restrictions, etc, plus the fear of getting sick. But, it’s not my wedding, it’s theirs. So, I’ll do everything I can to help, all the while wishing I could do more hands on.
Because it’s in October, we’ll have to take the boys out of school for a week or so. I don’t know if we’ll be driving or flying, but we’re looking into both options. Ultimately, we are so looking forward to celebrating our first born (older than her twin by 1 and 1/2 minutes) and her husband to be!
Once the kids began school, I jumped into the volunteer helper role pretty quickly because I wanted to stay active and close to them. I was a homeroom mom several years for several grades helping their teachers with activities such as projects and field trips. I volunteered in the cafeteria, helped with fundraisers large and small, and from pre-K through high school, I was happy to use my creativity to help both our schools and our church as the yearbook committee chairperson and as a member of our church choir.
With the passage of time and the growing up of my kids, plus the added aspect of this crazy world where everything feels off, imbalanced and full of so much confusion, I felt a pull to reenter a ministry that I hadn’t been actively involved in for years: that being the PRO-LIFE movement.
For years prior to our having a family, Bruce and I were actively involved as trained counselors at a crisis pregnancy center in Northern Virginia. Over the years as our family grew, I would step in to help with office and newsletter work at our local center here in Jacksonville, but I hadn’t stayed consistently involved having been so busy with our young children. But the time felt right to put myself back in the role of pro-life counselor. I contacted our local center, met with the director and some of the other staff members, became familiar with recent industry practices and protocols, and read up on everything. I went through training and shadowing of other counselors and then began to help women in crisis
What an honor and humbling experience this decision has been. Many people that come to our center are simply in need of a proof of pregnancy form signed by a healthcare professional so that she can apply for Medicaid. But, as expected, many come in out of fear that they are facing an overwhelming situation that was not expected.
As counselors, we are faces and voices of nonjudgmental people who understand, who listen, the repeat back what our clients are telling us so they know that they are being heard and understood. We assure each person who has come to us for help that she is safe, she is validated, supported and she is not alone. We offer a vast amount of information and resources for her to make an INFORMED DECISION if she is experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. Each person is completely individual in social and health situation, history, family dynamic and either family support or lack thereof. Ultimately, we provide food for thought and enough support that decisions can be made. Faith is a component of our counseling session if the client has expressed religious beliefs while we talk about her options.
This role is difficult and wonderful at the same time. It’s frightening. Before entering the counseling room each time, I pray that the Holy Spirit will guide my words. I pray for each client and for the baby she is carrying. I am in awe and very humbled that God can use me as his instrument to help another woman in need. For now, I will volunteer a full day, once per week, and we’ll see where this may lead.
