The summer at the Pitre house was pretty quiet this year. Aside from Bruce and Benjamin spending a week in North Georgia at boy scout camp, we stayed pretty close to home. We stayed busy with work, some projects, some overnights trips to visit and help my Mom in Orlando who recently moved to a new apartment, and my band had a pretty busy gig schedule.
But before we knew it, it was time to get ready for Sean to start 9th grade… high school, and Benjamin is now in 10th grade!
left: Benjamin and Sean kicking off kindergarten, and right: Sean (9th grade) and Benjamin (10th grade)
We call ourselves the “FINAL FOUR” … the last two kids teenaged kids and their parents, and lately the final four have been enjoying the spring weather here in Northeast Florida before the HOT arrives, and we know it will!
We didn’t go out of town for the kids’ spring break from school, but enjoyed hiking our local Jacksonville Arboritum, cycling with Ben’s boy scout troop, and attending Sean’s school’s annual spring carnival.
And before we knew it, the celebration of Easter had arrived!
I hope you and your family have been enjoying the spring of 2023. We’ve rounded the final bend of the school year and take the home stretch to summer break!
Soaking in our beautiful Jacksonville Arboritum, April 2023Benjamin, 15, earning cycling merit badge with his scouts troop, April 2023Sean, 15, standing next to the poster for the Spring Carnival that he designed, April 2023They may not be little kids anymore, but they still love decorating Easter eggs! April 2023Our church’s beautiful Easter Vigil Mass that included Baptisms, Confirmations and first Holy Communion for many new Christians. He is Gloriously Risen, Alleluia!Gorgeous Easter eggs, created by Pitre kidsYeager, our Erin’s pup wishing everyone a Happy Easter!
Well, it’s been a year, folks! And here we are, one year since the start of spring break 2020 when so many questions were flying around about what was going on … what were we all going to do? Would we keep the kids home from school for a while? What about our jobs? How long was all of this going to last? Sigh. You know what I mean.
Just like everyone else, we just didn’t know what was out in front of us. There were so many questions, and there was so much to worry about.
If you keep up with my blog or if you scroll down and catch up, you’ll learn that we experienced COVID-19 in this family in a very serious way … just as so many families did. And in the beginning, we all felt stopped in our tracks, stunted, somewhat paralyzed and all harboring a constant level of fear and worry.
But as time went by, the Pitre family started to breathe and decided to stretch our legs, open our windows, and get back into life.
Never intending to debate political items on this blog (or anywhere, really … it’s not my thing), my take on wearing masks have never been one of “YES”, and the reason for that stems from my life as an asthmatic and from my knowledge and education in an aspect of medical field with focus on health and wellness. Our bodies were created to breathe, and not to live behind pieces of cloth that prevent sufficient and healthy oxygen intake and which cause us to breathe in our own bacteria, causing respiratory and pulmonary disease. However, my family and I complied with the safety mandates issued for protection out of respect for other people, businesses we entered, and so on. I absolutely was not (and am still not) a fan of long-term wear for health reason of the wearer, which was one reason I kept my youngest boys (our 3rd twin set) home from school all last fall.
But, time proved that our boys needed to return to school for both academic (Benjamin) and social (Sean) reasons. I know our college kids Erin and Brandon have had a touch time maneuvering college classes completely online, sometimes not moderated by any teacher or professor at all.
So our youngest boys returned to school after Christmas break, and have been doing very well. I try to put the image of them in masks all day out of my mind. I wash their reusable supply of masks each night in hospital strength antiseptic, and then let a hot dryer kill any remaining bacteria. So far, so good!
So, as we rounded the turn of 2020 to 2021, we exhaled and knew that somehow we’d all get through these very challenging and unique times in our lives. I do look back on 2020 and, although I really didn’t know what was all going to come of this global situation, I’m proud of how most people, once the shock had worn off, went on with life. And so did we.We adjusted … my husband Bruce is still very busily working from home as an architect and project manager of many local hospital projects and attending several meetings per week; the kids are all thriving through the school year; boy scout meetings, projects and camping trips have continued; our middle twin set, Erin and Brandon have each started new jobs; I’ve picked up some consistent contract-based graphic design work for extra income, I’ve studio recorded my updated book TWINS x 3 to be produced as an audiobook hopefully in about a year, and I survived 2 spontaneous shoulder dislocations and a third surgery and extensive rehab on that shoulder. Oh, and my music collaborator Kenny and I completed and released a second album of original music in Nov 2020.
Life continues to go on, and when the bouts of confusion, frustration and disappointment with interruptions occur, I just take a breath, pray for continued discernment, wisdom and the TRUTH, and most of all rely on my firm belief that God has all of this.
We all feel very secure and blessed. Yes, very blessed.
Yes, very blessed.
Life is meant to be lived, come what may. Get out into it. Breathe.
We are sooooo fortunate to live so close to the coast … only 7 miles from the beaches, and oh yes, we enjoy them all year round.
I was so excited when my kids agreed to work on one of the songs on the music album that was released just a few months ago. During 2020, the music always continued. The music performing was very stop and go, hit or miss, but my co-writer and I worked hard and put out a second album in November 2020. I’ve also been working on my updated book’s audio book recording. Completing that project will be jumping to the top of my project priority list soon!
In 2019, I wrote a song called “JUST LIKE THAT” … that life can change in the blink of an eye, but together, we can face anything. How appropriate for 2020. Here are 3 of the six recording harmonies and backup vocals on “JUST LIKE THAT” in the recording studio, Sept 2020.
As a family we hold tight, we pray a lot, we attend Mass online each week, and we get outside as much as possible. Bruce and I need to continue to reassure our kids that things were going to be okay, that no matter what, we stick together, even if things feel unsure and scary. So we keep our projects going, our lives as familiar as possible, and keep the course moving ahead, steady and strong.
Our eldest (1st born/1st set) daughter Kathryn and her fiance Jonathan decided to have a small, private marriage ceremony in Tucson last October (without family because we couldn’t travel), but we will all be going out there this coming autumn for an official marriage blessing and Mass celebrated by Kathryn’s uncle, our family priest (my brother), Scott.
Lauren (2nd born/1st set) lives away from us now in a house here in Jacksonville with two other girls, works full-time from her home office, but spends many weekends here at our home. For a while, when everyone was completely locked down and quarantined, it was torture not being able to be with her. Thankfully, that didn’t last too long. I plan to FINALLY visit my Mom and step-Dad soon, and hopefully we’ll be able to visit Bruce’s family in Louisiana soon, as well. Gosh it’s been 14 months since I’ve hugged my mom.
On a very personal note, this year has been a year of extremely powerful and exponential spiritual growth for me. Never in my life have I prayed, read my Bible (I read the One Year Bible each day) and dug down deeply to gather strength, conviction and determination to live. This past year has magnified and reinforced my dependence on God, and the ever-growing realization that I simply cannot survive and thrive without God’s guidance, comfort and support, but I also know that I can get through anything, that ALL of us can get through anything that this life throws at us, through Christ who’s strength empowers me.
Let’s choose to live with renewed purpose, love and a whole new level of appreciation for each and every person, and every single day.
When the new school year began this year, we parents in the state of Florida were given a choice when considering the threat of contracting Covid 19: do we keep our children home and continue distance learning, or do we equip them with face masks, hand sanitizer, and strict instructions for correct social-distancing practices and send them back to school?
Well, the good news, as I already stated is that here in the state of Florida, we were given the choice to either continue distance learning or allow our children to return to a brick-and-mortar school, back in the classroom. As parents, we should consider either determination of this choice correct. There is no correct or incorrect option considering this choice. The important thing is to choose what is best for your children, for your peace of mind as a parent, and for what you feel is best for your family.
Following the traumatic summer of older son being being very ill with the cornona virus, when August arrived, I was simply not ready to send my youngest two boys back to school for fear that we’d be inviting another case or two of this virus into our family. So we decided to continue distance learning from our home. Sean and Ben have been attending 6th and 7th grade via Microsoft Teams through a secure site on our county school system’s site referred to as “Home Room”. Our teachers (God Bless them all) are teaching students in their classroom along with those who have opted to learn from home.
After a few weeks of adjustments and tweaking, my boys and I fell into a groove of getting up, getting dressed, eating breakfast and then sitting down at 8:30 am to begin their first scheduled classes. The days continue through their classes with a few breaks (and lunch), followed by my orders to “now go out and ride your bikes!” when the school day is over.
As the weeks and months have progressed, I’ve done my best to help each child stay on top of their classwork and homework assignments amid computer issues and internet disruptions. I received many assignment pages to print out, and then to upload once completed. Different teachers approach assignment tasks differently than others, and there have been changes, inconsistencies and problems to solve throughout our experience. It’s been frustrating, and as time has passed, I’ve questioned effectiveness of long-term online learning for my middle-school students. Are my boys truly learning well? Are they able to connect with their teachers, ask enough questions, feel that they are participating and keeping up with the subject matter? In some instances, their grades and my discussions with their teachers have indicated that they are, but in many instances, they’re not.
So I started to weigh the options again between distance learning and possibly returning them to the classroom, and again, I feel very fortunate to live in a state where we currently have the choice between attending school either in the classroom or virtually.
Where I stand today, my plan is to transition our boys back to the classroom after the Christmas break, at the start of this school year’s third quarter. The boys will be equipped with fresh personal protection equipment recommended by a friend who works healthcare, which has successfully protected her and her children so far.
What changed my mind?
I realize that there is a current surge in corona virus cases due to weather changes, as it would align with this year’s flu season, and that I, as a mother, must do everything I can to protect my children. And as parents, we must take into account all factors of our children’s well-being. I’ve realized that as the school year has progressed, my boys have demonstrated the symptoms of isolation, of frustration, irritability, most likely due to their lack of socialization. I’ve begun to wonder if my desire to keep them from getting ill from this virus (a survivable virus in more than 99% of cases) has been causing my children harm and in more ways than the virus, if they were to contract it, would.
I feel slightly more confident to move in this direction of sending them back to school for two reasons. 1- it appears evident that the virus is mutating and weakening. Those that I personally know who have become ill, do not appear to be as ill or for the illness to be as long-lasting as it has been in during last winter and in the spring/summer; and 2- therapeutics and medication protocols have tremendously improved as compared to treatment guesses that were enlisted last spring. In fact, therapeutic approaches have improved significantly and are more readily available even compared to July and August when my son Brandon was sick. I plan to continue the preventative measures we have been using for months: Vitamins D and C along with daily zinc supplements together with healthy nutrition and plenty of sleep. And if our two healthy young boys are to contract the virus, we and our doctor know what measures to take for their recoveries.
And if others in our immediate family catch the virus, hopefully we’re young and health enough to manage well.
For now, starting our second school quarter, and as we approach the holidays and the end of this incredible year 2020, we plug along just like everyone else, making the best choices for our families, staying positive and faithful, and looking forward to a safe and healthy 2021!
What are your thoughts on this subject? How are you handling your children’s education today? Please share your comments, questions and thoughts for further discussion!
Many studies have been done over the years weighing the positive vs. the negative effects of placing twins in separate classrooms. However, I’m not going to explain the results of these studies here. Instead, I’m going to provide you with food for thought for your decision-making consideration strictly based upon mine and my children’s personal experiences, and I hope this can help you make the right decision for your children.
As parents of multiples or singletons, we strive to provide environments where our children can develop a positive sense of individuality while feeling secure and safe, grow and thrive with a strong awareness of self worth and pride in themselves and their abilities, and to blossom in self-confidence with healthy goals and ambitions.
We want our children to grow up to lead healthy, happy, productive lives.
And as your children’s parent, you know them better than anyone else based on your day-to-day observations of their personalities, their strengths, their weaknesses and their unique relationship dynamic as individual members of a twin (or more) set.
Our 3rd set of twins, Benjamin and Sean start pre-kindergarten
One of the first questions asked of twin parents as their children begin to reach school age is, “Are you going to separate them in school? I’ve heard that’s the best thing for them …” Right? Everyone’s an expert, and everyone has an opinion.
I’d like to break it down for you based upon our 3 twin set combinations and their individual situations.
TWIN SET 1:
First of all, our first born twin girls were incredibly joined at the hip, so to speak, from infancy through age 9. They attended a small parochial school that had only 1 class per grade so we really didn’t have the choice to separate them or not. We knew they were very comforted by each other’s close proximity because each tended to be shy. Being together provided a sense of safety and security that we believe each child benefited from on a very healthy level. We noticed that by the time they reached 4th-5th grade, each of their circle of friends had expanded, their social confidences grew, and their interests began to diversify. One of the girls continued her pursuit in dance, while her twin wanted no longer had an interest in dance and wanted to focus on martial arts and sports. Because they had now developed different friend circles and different interests, their development and growth in individuality was proceeding in a very healthy manner. We watched and celebrated their true individuality. By the time they both entered high school, their class schedules differed and they continued to grow into the young adults they are today with the normal amount of occasional conflict and disagreement along the way.
TWIN SET 2:
The dynamic between our second set, a boy and a girl, was completely different from our first set of girls. Where they were also very close from the very beginning, this closeness never ended, and in fact, at age 20 today, they still remain the closest of our three sets. By the time they reached school age, we noticed some aspects of their brother/sister relationship that could potentially negatively affect their classroom relationship. For one thing, our son very early on began to exhibit a reading disability along with a mild level ADD. His sister, always the perfectionist, compliant achiever, would hover, protect and “cover” for her twin. She was always watching out for him and felt personally responsible if he “messed up” in some capacity. She was constantly trying to keep up with the tasks she was expected to do, while also feeling responsible for (and embarrassed by) her twin brother. Subsequently, we noticed that our son grew to depend too upon his twin sister’s assistance. On top of the dependency/enabler dynamic that was developing, they also were (and still are) very competitive with each other. Everything from who finished their homework first and who scored in a soccer game became a brutal competition.
We decided to moved our son to our local public school for 4th and 5th grades where he could benefit from our county’s reading resource programs. During the two years that they were separated, our daughter was relieved of the self-imposed brother responsibilities, and was able to concentrate on her classwork and enjoy her friends. As for our son, he initially experienced severe separation anxiety from his twin while also being a “new kid” in a new much-bigger school, but this difficult transition soon proved to be a healthy opportunity for him to recognize his own abilities. It was sink or swim, and although he flailed and gulped some water initially, he soon began to enjoy his new friends, and felt proud of himself as his individual achievements began to grow and his grades improved. We brought our son back to our church school for 6th-8th grades where there were two classes per grade, so we requested that they remain in separate classes where they continued to thrive, but never missed the chance to compete over math grades or higher basketball scoring!
TWINS SET 3:
Our twin boys have been best friends from the start, but are also very competitive with one another. Neither boy has a shy bone in his body, and we began their school career in pre-kindergarten at our small church school as we had with their 4 older siblings. Within a year, they were BOTH beginning to exhibit signs of dyslexia, just like their older brother. Being experienced in this situation, I placed them in the same public school for 2nd and 3rd grades that had proven so successful with our older son. Because they each take comfort in each other’s close proximity, we felt that the new school was enough of a change, and requested that they be placed in the same classroom. However, while one of our boys began to slowly improve, his twin still significantly struggled. Try as we did to give him all of the extra and individual reading support possible, one of our boys would not prove the academic strength to proceed on to 4th grade, and was retained in 3rd grade.
I will be perfectly honest with you. I was devastated. In my mind, I was very concerned with the emotional and mental impact and ramifications that could develop as the twin left behind while his brother moved forward. He would always be behind from then on. I also saw the lost chance achieving academic milestones and of their graduating high school and college together, but I didn’t allow him to know how I felt. Instead, we put our chins up and all came to accept that our son was where he needed to be. When I think back, I’m so proud of how brave he was, and I tear up remembering how he simply made the decision to make and embrace his new friends. He actually enjoyed saying, “Oh, we did that last year in math, so it’s easy for me!”
After two years of applying, both boys were finally accepted into a school for dyslexic children here in Jacksonville where they both have done very, very well. Our older boy is presently excelling in 6th grade while his twin brother is killing it in 5th!
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL CHILD We all want to do what’s best for our children, and just because our kids came in sets of two or more, it doesn’t negate their complete individuality … whether they are fraternal or identical twins.
Looking back, I didn’t know exactly how our choices would play out. So as parents, I encourage you to know that you can experiment. If there’s some particular factor that has prompted you to consider separating twins who have been together thus far, perhaps it’s worth exploring. If, for some reason, it doesn’t work out, then move them back together for a while! School administrators understand the challenges that come with twin students and will often times work to ensure that everyone is happy, including us parents!
