Twins Are ONEs That Happen to Come in TWOs!

Twins grow and develop first as womb-mates, …

… are born on the same day (with rare exception) … are dressed alike … share a bassinet … share a crib … share a bedroom … share, share and share some more. This doubling-up is true for identical or fraternal twins (including boy/girl combos … I know because I did it with mine!) For a while, most parents of twins enjoy pairing up our little duos because, well let’s face it, it’s fun, and they’re so darn cute! We’ve  lots of “twin sets” of clothing outfits, bedding, toys, etc., and we naturally enjoy them. Now, I’m not saying everything has to be exactly the same. Some little girl outfits are same style but are different colors, or the same pattern is found on your daughter’s dress which matches her twin brother’s pants or vest. The children themselves grow in an awareness and become used to this type of treatment … for a while. Then comes the day when one little girls falls in love with one dress that she must wear day after day, yet her twin doesn’t really show any interest in that same dress. Or, as his mom, you notice that one of your sons is very interested in a particular toy which his twin totally discards when given it. Twins or not, identical or not … each child is demonstrating his or her own unique individuality. As parents, we’re the first to recognize our child’s differences from the others, her likes and dislikes, his preferences and habits. I’ve witnessed my children as each began to assert his and her own individuality … and also as they’ve each gone after their own interests, different friends, sports, hobbies, etc., after having shared just about everything in the beginning. The experience is bitter/sweet when it happens, because as their mother, I recognize that this is all a part of growing up. As a parent of twins, have you begun to experience their asserting individuality? Independence from the other? A desire to be treated as a separate individual as opposed to a packaged-set? Two young ladies couldn’t be more different than my nearly 17 year old twin daughters. Each has specific talents, interests, friends (although all within the same group), style, mannerisms, desires, wishes, goals, and so on. They are fraternal twins, but I have to say that the same is true for their best friends, who happen to be a set of identical twins! Since as parents, we have no control over our children’s desires and wishes, it’s so important that we support, encourage and celebrate each of our twin’s differences and special characteristics which make each person who that person really is. So, although it’s fun to enjoy our little “twinkie-packs”, our little peas-in-a-pod, our little double bundles, it’s equally fun to experience the transformations as they blossom into the unique and wonderfully special young people they are becoming before our very eyes.

Why are there MISCONCEPTIONS about Multiple Pregnancies?

“Wow, are all those twins yours? Were they all natural or were they fertility?”

That’s the way it’s always worded, seriously, and I still cannot get over how very intrusive, rude and indignant that second question (that invariably follows the first) is each time it is asked. I also could never imagine myself asking that question of any other mother! And in considering this rude question, it begs another: Are only those sets of twins or multiples that occur without medical assistance considered “natural”?  Yes, they would be considered “naturally- or spontaneously-occurring”, but should the many twin pregnancies and twin babies resulting from medical intervention through, for instance, fertility medications or office procedures/surgeries be perceived as artificial in some way? If so, how does this perception affect the parents of babies who resulted from medically-assisted pregnancy attempts? No parents wants to think (or have anyone else think) of their precious children as somehow artificially-created. Obviously, identical twins are not products of infertility treatments since they result from the spontaneous splitting of a single embryo, and are not the result of more than one ovum (egg) released during one given cycle. Fertility treatments, for the most part, intend to increase a woman’s chance of conceiving by increasing the number of egg-containing ovarian follicles in one cycle. Pregnancy odds are increased with this treatment alone, or when combined with a procedure such as assisted insemination (aka artificial insemination), or with one of the procedures under the heading of InVitro Fertilization (IVF). IVF offers the highest percentage of pregnancy success in the infertility industry today. It is a process by which more than one embryo, which were products of in-laboratory fertilization, are transferred to the uterus in the hopes that one or more will implant and result in pregnancy of a single baby or of fraternal twins (or more). Many fraternal twins, however, occur spontaneously. In other words, these twins are products of the woman spontaneously ovulating more than one egg in one cycle, and each becoming fertilized. Personally speaking, I must have ovulated two eggs the month that I became pregnant with my last set of twins! My first two sets, however, were first-attempt G.I.F.T. babies. G.I.F.T (Gamete Intrafallopian Transfer) is a procedure where the egg and sperm are retrieved, then individually placed into the open end of a woman’s fallopian tube. When that procedure is complete, all fingers are crossed and prayers are said in the hopes that fertilization would naturally occur now that the gametes were placed in close proximity, and that the resulting embryos would implant and cause a pregnancy. In our case, the lack of sperm motility (swim-ability) was the infertility issue, so once we took that factor out of the equation, I became pregnant and stayed pregnant quite successfully. Not all procedures are appropriate for every couple. Many factors (including situation-appropriateness, philosophical and religious beliefs) must be considered and discussed with each couple’s physician before any infertility treatment should be considered and pursued. More and more couples experiencing infertility problems are becoming parents with medical assistance, and the number of couples seeking fertility assistance rises each year because they are waiting too long before starting a family. Publicity and journalistic reporting on the commonality of fertility treatments and the resulting births has contributed to the public’s perception that most twin or multiple pregnancies are the result of “artificial infertility treatments”, which further feeds public opinion that children are being artificially created.   As parents of our multiples (and multiple multiples), we know better. We know that our children are our children. They are the products of our love, whether they were conceived with or without assistance. Lastly, and most importantly, God has the last say in whether or not a child comes into the world, and there’s simply nothing artificial about that!

Are Your Twins Identical or Fraternal?

As moms of twins …

… especially those whose twins resemble each other, we have become quite accustomed to being approached by curious strangers and having this oh-so familiar question asked: Are your twins identical?

More often, mom and dad want the answer to this question before the babies arrive, and hope there will be a way to find out!

Twinning occurs in approximately 32.6 in every 1,000 births (2008 statistics) and with the increasing use of fertility medications and treatments, these statistics rise slightly each year. In 1980, only 18.9 in every 1,000 births were twins (1/3 of those twins being identical, and the other 2/3 being fraternal).

For those readers who may be expecting a set of twins, and for those who are just fascinated by twin facts (like me), you’ll enjoy the following info!

When referring to the types of twins (identical or fraternal), what’s really being referred to is zygosity, defined as the characteristics of the cell union at or shortly after conception. Identical (monozygotic = one zygote) twins occur when one fertilized egg (zygote) divides into two identical parts. Identical twins possess the same genes (DNA), and may share many similar characteristics. However, since environment plays a large role in one’s physical appearance (in addition to genes), identical twins can actually look different, especially as they age and are exposed to various external factors such as nutrition and physical activity. Identical twins are always the same gender.

Fraternal (dizygotic = two zygotes) twins occur when two separate eggs are fertilized by two separate sperm. They are basically the same as any sibling would be to another, but are conceived within a day or two of the other, share their mother’s uterus at the same time, and are usually born within minutes of each other.

Science has theorized a third type called Polar Body twinning, which occurs when an unfertilized egg divides into two parts and each part is fertilized by a different sperm. The twins would then share one-half of their identical gene set (from their mother). Because it is the father’s DNA that determines gender in all pregnancies, the twins can be either same-gender or male/female.

An ultrasound may be able to determine if a mother is carrying identical or fraternal twins. Some identical twins share the same sac and/or placenta. Some identical twins, however, can have separate sacs, and the placentas of fraternal twins can fuse together to appear as one placenta. Fraternal twins do not share the same sac.

Once the babies are born, genetics testing (through a painless swabbing of the inside of the cheek) is the only real way to determine if twins are identical or not (that is, if they don’t already look completely different from each other, and also, of course, if their genders differ!)

Additional twin facts:

The only type of twins that “run in the family” are dizygotic, because a mother’s genetic tendency to hyperovulate (ovulate more than one egg in one given cycle) can be passed down to her daughter. Although there is really no proven reason know for why monozygotic twins occur, it has been speculated that a rare enzyme found in sperm may cause the fertilized zygote to spontaneously split in two separate zygotes at some point during the blastocyst stage (during which tremendous, rapid cell division occurs) as it moves from the fallopian tube and arrives in the uterus prior to implantation. Conjoined (also referred to as Siamese) twins occur when the final division never fully completes. Conjoined twins can never occur in fraternal twinning, and can only be same gender.

As for my three pairs of twins, I have all fraternal sets. I have two girls (with whom while I was pregnant were suspected to be identical); a boy/girl set; and finally two boys! Having been pregnant three times each with twins so I really don’t know what it’s like to be expecting a single baby. From having none to two, then to four, and then to six has been an amazing experience filled with many blessings as well as challenges! Looking back to when we were planning just one baby seems like a lifetime ago, but it all has been a journey I thank God my husband and I were chosen to travel.


For more comparable facts about twins types, please refer to this Zygosity Chart comparing Identical, Fraternal and Polar Body twins at

Blessings ~

What Happens When One Twin is Excluded?

Twins arrive as a set, a pair, a side-by-side little couple of womb-mates turned room-mates. Some of us often refer to them “the twins”, especially when they arrive after or before a singleton or two. For those of us who have more than one set of twins, calling each them “the twins” may be confusing, but that’s beside the subject! What happens to our twin duos when they get older and begin to socialize and become involved in sports and other activities? What happens when one twin girl is asked by a friend at school to be her best friend? How does the other twin feel? Is this other twin automatically invited in activities that involve the other two girls simply by virtue of her twin status? Are the twins assumed to be an inseparable set … or, is one excluded and treated simply as a sibling of this classmate’s best friend? What would happen if one twin was invited to a birthday party and not was other? Another example would be a set of 10-year-old set of boy twins who are both interested in a spot on the school soccer team. If one twin is a stronger player than the other, is it assumed that both will make the team regardless of the fact that one is not as strong a player as the other? A set of identical 16-year-old twin girls played for two years on the junior varsity volley ball team at my daughters’ high school. In fact, throughout their entire lives, the girls have played on every team and have been involved in every activity together. Following varsity volley ball team try-outs, one of the girls learned that she had not made the team, yet the other had earned a spot. The actual words of the coach were, “I’m sorry, but one is just a more valuable player than the other, and please don’t just assume that you’re automatically a packaged-deal …” In my opinion, the coach could definitely have chosen a more tactful way of explaining his reasoning. Hurt feelings of exclusion combined with the discomfort and disappointment of believing he or she is perceived as less important, less wanted, or less talented than their twin cannot be an enjoyable experience initially. However, growing independently and realizing that twins, even identical twins, will at some point in life have different friends, interests, choices and dreams, can only enrich their lives as well as have them develop in maturity, losing the need and constant dependence on his or her twin. When the tears stopped, and the girls’ parents had finished consoling one while also congratulating the others, the young ladies realized that this unexpected change in their lives would present a perfect opportunity for each to grow individually. They could each assert some much-needed independence and temporary distance from each other. The time away from each other would allow each to miss each other, and perhaps discover a new appreciation for each other! There’s no doubt that twins share strong, unique bonds, but when the situation presents itself where one is included and the other is not, twins should take this opportunity to celebrate their differences, and spend some beneficial time apart. Have you experienced this type of situation with your twins? If so, how did you handle it? How did your twins handle the situation? An article article called “When One Isn’t Invited” by my friend Pam Fierro and mother of identical twin girls further discusses this topic.

Please share your comments below … remember, your experience benefit all of our readers!

Blessings ~

Oops Moms of Twins: Your Stress Is Showing!

“I can usually tell if

someone is stressed out or not just by looking at their belly size.”

– Dr. Mehmet Oz in First for Women


Boy, if that’s true, than we’re a stressed-out society! Is it my imagination or does it seem like more and more people, from children to seniors, seem to be harboring excessive amounts of belly fat these days? In an excerpt from a to-the-point article posted on the awareness-building and informative blog, Always sick and Tired (Help me get healthy), popular blog writer and chronic illness sufferer herself Always Sick Chick conveys to her readers after thorough research the following:

“There are obvious ways stress affects us negatively. It can cause irritability, tiredness, loss of energy, loss of appetite or an increased appetite, make us crave unhealthy things such as sugary foods with no nutritional value, etc…  All of these come together and cause weight gain, but it’s the type of weight gain that it causes that makes it different from anything else.

When we are chronically stressed out, our bodies believe we are in peril.  We can thank evolution for this one, as the chronic stress of our ancestors was usually related to famine or extreme danger from a predator.  Such stress meant the body needed to store up fat for fuel to keep from starving or to give extra energy for the fight or flight against the predator.

Today, though, our stress is different.  We are not facing famine.  Quite the contrary, in fact.  Food is plentiful.  So whenever we are stressed, our bodies think we need food, even when we don’t.  And as we eat that double cheeseburger, our body is storing every ounce of fat in it for the famine that it thinks is approaching, or the marathon it thinks we need to run to escape that saber tooth that no longer exists.  The body does this with the help of a naturally occurring steroid produced by the body called cortisol.

You’ve no doubt seen those commercials about cortisol and how it causes stubborn belly fat. They’re selling you pills that don’t work, but their information about what causes belly fat is true according to Dr. Oz.  The cortisol makes you hungry, even when you don’t need food, because you’re stressed out.”

I found that the older I became, the harder it was for me to lose my pregnancy and post-pregnancy  weight, and I have had experience myself with stress-induced weight-gain and the inability to lose weight due to stress. It’s so frustrating, and the more stressed I am about the weight, the harder it is to take off … a truly vicious cycle.

Doctors and fitness experts agree that plain and simply: take in less than you burn, and you’ll lose weight; take in more than you burn and you’ll gain. Exercise while eating correctly will increase your metabolism and burn fat and calories while it also builds stronger muscle mass and allow you to have a more efficient metabolism. With more muscle mass, you’ll lose weight more quickly than if you only ate less or made better food choices because muscle burns calories, even while resting.

There’s some food for thought for you!

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Blessings ~