Welcome everyone! My name is Fran Pitre ... I'm the wife of a great guy, mom to 6 amazing kids who all happened to come in sets of two, I'm a graphic designer, published author of “TWINS x 3” (2019 Edition now available!), singer/songwriter, and clinical massage therapist.
If you've come to this site looking for support, info and inspiration as a parent of twins, you've come to the right place!
I want to start out by saying again that we are just one family among millions touched by the effects of this serious pandemic. Because we are living it first-hand on a personal level, however, I feel strongly compelled to share the ongoing experience of our son Brandon’s illness.
During a text conversation with our next-door neighbor, Mary, she told me that she had seen Brandon walking to his car a few days ago. After he’d returned from his virus test appointment last Thursday (which came back negative), he’d parked along the curb in front of our mailbox, and we’d asked him to move his car into our driveway so it was no longer blocking our mail carrier’s access to our mailbox. Mary told me that when she saw him walking, she noticed his shoulders were hunched inward, his head was down, and he was moving very slowly. She expressed to me how much she hated to see him looking so defeated. She called out to him, “Brandon! Come on, stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, you’ve got this!”
He replied to her, “Yeah, I know, but it’s so hard.”
He had shown signs of improvement over this past week, and told me that up until three days ago, he was beginning to feel overall “a lot better”. However, then another dip occurred, one of those dips which we know now is typical for many people who have had this virus. And so we continue to encourage positive self-talk, prayer and patience. While feeling physically weak, and having a hard time enduring as time continues on, he’s also frightened. Doctors admit to being perplexed by the unfamiliarity and unpredictability of this virus. That fact really shakes Brandon’s confidence. I wish I could remove his access to the internet, but any attempts to pry the cell phone from the the fingers of my 20-year-old son, despite his weakened state, just would not end well.
From left to right, Brandon on his 20th birthday in October 2019; his second ER visit July 6, 2020; and today July 18, 2020 while on his “tryna think positive” quest.
Bruce (my rock) and I remind Brandon that although his recovery is slow right now, and that it seems an eternity since he first isolated himself to his bedroom, he is improving. He’s demonstrating a typical saw-tooth, upwardly-trending recovery. We also remind him that things could have gone in a completely different direction. He must stay positive (in mindset, of course, and not in test-result), and this will end soon. He is our miracle. The fact that none of the rest of us have contracted the virus is also a miracle.
So they say that when it rains it pours. Sadly, our daughter Kathryn and her fiancée, Jonathan have decided to postponed their wedding. As the two-month away mark approaches, and the pandemic situation only worsens, it was agreed by all that postponing would be the best decision. However, it was still an emotional, heart-wrenching, and heart-breaking decision for them to make. We do, however, look forward to celebrating with them when there is no longer the worry and threat of this uninvited viral guest, and when all can anticipate and participate in their big day with joy and excitement.
And because things tend to occur in 3’s, my right arm is currently wrapped in an immobilizing sling. My previously twice-dislocated, and twice-operated-upon right shoulder dislocated yet again last Sunday evening, and after two failed ER attempts to relocate it (ouch), I was put under general anesthesia, and it was finally relocated. A third surgery to stabilize this worn-out joint is not far off.
So, the first purpose of this post is to provide an update to everyone who has asked for one, and to ask each of you to please instill in anyone you know who may hold on to the belief that this virus is some sort of game or hoax, that it’s absolutely not. I won’t express my opinion of its WHY or HOW, but I will certainly testify to its reality and to its severity. If my very healthy son can be taken down this way, please consider the health of your family when you go out and socialize, or choose to vacation in Disney World right now.
We are planning for Sean and Benjamin to continue home-learning this fall.
The second and equally-important purpose of this post is to express once again our deepest, most heartfelt gratitude to everyone who has provided us with love, support, a flood of prayers (they are working!), and for the several dropped-off-dinners we’ve appreciated and have enjoyed immensely.
We don’t know how tomorrow will play out. When do we ever know? We do know, however, that God is in control if we allow his grace in our lives during the good and during the difficult. We also hold strong to our faith that in trusting God and in supporting, respecting and loving each other, we will all get through this.
PSA: If my 20-year-old, very fit, active, health-conscious son can become this sick with COVID-19, then everyone PLEASE PAY ATTENTION, including the teenagers and other young adults! This is not a game, this is not fake. Take this SERIOUSLY.
Thank you for checking back in with us. It’s truly incredible how most people today have been directly affected by this pandemic to some degree: lost income, a closed business, inability to travel or see extended family and friends, cancelled plans, school and work-from-home, cabin fever, and, well, constant fear of the unknown. Honestly, our family has experienced all of those aspects on some level these last few months, but no inconveniences or disappointments hit home quite like our son contracting it. My heart goes out to everyone ill or caring for a loved one who is ill with this virus. My son Brandon is sick and he’s still really struggling.
They may be in college now, but they’re forever my little ones. Pictured here are my middle set of twins: Brandon (l), and Erin (r).
Having personally experienced my share of cold/flu viruses over the years, and having cared for our children when they’ve been sick with every common injury and illness, I have some know-how under my belt as far as responding to illnesses in our home. However, this one is not common. It’s not predictable. It’s not familiar. It is uncharted territory, and it’s symptom pattern and behavior are simply mysterious.
So we wait, we monitor, we manage and we pray.
Over the past 11 days since I last posted, Brandon has experienced unfamiliar, unsettling and sometimes frightening symptoms. When he initially began to feel a bit better than he had during the first week and a half, Bruce and I started to breathe easy again. Unfortunately, the relief was short-lived and had us tricked. His symptoms progressed from the initial flu-like fever, aches, cough, lack of appetite, complete lack of senses of smell and taste, headache and fatigue to an increase in appetite, increased energy, and the desire to sit outside for a few minutes every day. But then he took some dips, which we expected based on what others have reported experiencing. Knowing he had now reached the two-week mark, he made himself an appointment to be retested, but there wasn’t an available appointment for a week.
And we wait, we manage, we monitor and we pray.
His last setback started on the Thursday afternoon prior to the 4th of July weekend, and he hasn’t improved since. He hasn’t feel well at all, describing a slightly increased temperature (no higher than 99 degrees), with chills, muscle and joint aches and practically no appetite and now diarrhea. Where he had started several days ago to disinfect his room and bathroom, and had increased energy, everything suddenly regressed. My instincts told me that a possible secondary infection was brewing.
Another, and one of the most difficult, symptom he’s experiencing are enormous ANXIETY attacks. These episodes may be a result of the neurological effects of the virus itself, or a response to all of the other symptoms, but whatever the reason, it’s a real and very challenging symptom, both for the person experiencing it and for those taking care of the person.
Monday morning (today) arrived and at 8am sharp I had him call our doctor’s office and spoke with our family doctor’s nurse who has experienced this virus herself. Because Brandon does not have a negative test status, he cannot be seen by our doctor. Understandably, but incredibly ironic and frustrating because the wait is so long for his retest appointment. As the day has gone on, his stress level, his discomfort and hard-to-describe overall symptoms have worsened, so we called two urgent care facilities, the second of which allowed him to come in and be examined. He’s there right now.
And we continue to wait and pray.
THIS IS DEPRESSING.
In addition to the physical affects that this virus has had on Brandon, he’s also been struggling to keep a positive attitude. Fear can be a powerful force, and as the days and weeks have progressed, his ability to cope has decreased. His anxiety bouts coupled with a deepening depression that he may not recover has gotten a grip on him. We have talks and I try so hard to lift him up, encourage him, comfort him, reassure him, but honestly, I just don’t know. His girlfriend has also been trying to help during long phone conversations.
As a family of faith we hold tight and turn to prayer and scripture. We’ve been referring to verses regarding trust and patience. We’ve also been encouraging anything and everything humorous … movies, series, games. Anything to lift his spirits and take his mind off feeling crappy.
As for me, and please bear with my digression, as this is for all of the women/moms reading this. I’m trying not to, but I’m struggling, too. I’m doing everything I can think of to help my sick child while I try to protect the rest of my family. Some days I’m doing okay. Some days, I wish I was handling it all better. I’ll say again that I know that everyone is suffering from the virus, from the affects of the fear, from the the fighting, from the unrest, and from all of the hate. So, since writing things down is what I do, I’m going to share my feelings here:
I’m worried about my son. I’m worried about my husband and the rest of my children. I’m worried that my mom, my step-dad and my mother-in-law will become ill with this horrible thing. I’m angry because this shouldn’t be happening in the first place. I’m angry at the way people on social media don’t hesitate to express their opinions while they spew insults and disrespect the equally-valid opinions of others. I’m angry that I had to stop working, lose a significant amount of income, and stop moving forward with music and writing projects, plans and goals. I’m heartbroken for my daughter as she tries to plan for a wedding while this ominous gray cloud casts an enormous shadow over an event that she wants to be, and should be, excited about. Lastly, I don’t sleep. I. Don’t. Sleep. I have been trying to increase my physical activity to reduce stress and encourage sleep. I began to incorporate melatonin and some extra stretching to release tension.
Ok, enough of that.
We will get through this, I have no doubt. Thank you for spending time reading this post, and many thanks to all of our friends and family for checking in with us so often. We feel your prayers, we feel your love, and we know we’re blessed to have your friendship and support. I see many miracles each day and I know that many more, large and small, will happen as a result of this crisis we’re all experiencing. I’m grateful for God’s love and protection, for the beautiful cardinals who stay close to our home these days, and to the hawk family who have a brand new family in one of our backyard trees. I’m thankful for funny movies, goofy games played with my kids, and for wine. I wish I wasn’t quite as thankful for comfort foods these days. Stupid pasta.
UPDATE:
(Tues 6:15 pm) Thank you all for each of your texts, messages, facebook posts and blog comments. We are absolutely overwhelmed by the support we’ve received from each and every one of you.
So, after a long night in the ER on extra O2 and IV fluids, Brandon (with Bruce there with him) received the results of his CT scan of his lungs and abdominal organs which was CLEAR: no pneumonia. His 2nd COVID test, however, still came back positive. The test will indicate positive if there’s any viral presence. The numbers were probably initially quite high and are probably quite low now, but still present. After stabilizing his O2 levels (which had been lower than they liked when he first arrived), and after he demonstrated the ability to maintain his body temp, he came home early this morning. If he had been admitted to the hospital, he would have been placed in isolation with other Covid-positive patients, where we would not be able to stay with him, so the decision was made to send him home. We’re hoping that this was his last set back, and that with time, he recovers completely.
We appreciate all the prayers, support and offers for meals!! We love you all !! We ask that God protect each and every one of you and your families. Thank you!
(Mon 9:54 pm) Ascension/St. Vincents Urgent Care wants to transport him to Baptist Hospital (downtown Jacksonville) in order to get his blood oxygen levels up and stable. We are awaiting the results of his retest. If it’s negative, he will not be placed with other Covid patients, and Bruce can stay with him. All prayers are welcome!
Tuesday: It’s been one week since his symptoms began and Brandon has not had a good day. He’s frequently nauseous and his lack of appetite leaves everything I prepare for him only slightly touched. His is, however, staying hydrated, as I insist. He has lung discomfort, tightness, throat pain and coughing. He feels weak, unsteady, and very tired. His sensitivity to cold has been challenging since the other three kids are hot if the A/C setting is raised upstairs, especially at night. I’ve encouraged him to close his room’s air vent and to open his window to let in fresh, warm summer air. He and my friend Mark have been texting back and forth, and I’m so grateful for that connection. Although they both feel cruddy, they have vented to each other here and there, and compare symptoms with each other. As for sources of comfort: He has reported to me that he feels a direct correlation between drinking “fizzy-tab water” and feeling better. He’s referring to the molecular hydrogen dissolving tablets that I’ve been giving him once a day. It does really seem to help! I have coached the benefits of this product to my clients, and I believe in its benefits from my personal experience, so I’m so glad that this product is helping my son through his recovery.
Wednesday: When I asked him how he was feeling today, he answered that he’d slept pretty well, but was still tired. He still has been experiencing body aches and weird chills, despite his temperature not exceeding 98-99 degrees. He continued to sleep much of the day. He has expressed that his anxiety level, however, has dropped and that he feels much more relaxed. Thank goodness!
Gratitude
And speaking of thanking, I want to focus now on being grateful for the blessings that always bubble up during the struggles in our lives, as they have now … for the continuing miracles and silver linings revealed in the midst of our stormy weather.
The response to my previous blog article has been overwhelmingly positive and supportive. Thank you, everyone, from the depths of my heart. It’s always apparent through the many crises we experience in our lives, that we just have to look for the helpers, those angels who God sends us when we need them. I’ve also received warm responses of love, prayers and support from all of our friends and family with phone calls and text messages. Friends two doors down dropped off a large bowl of Filipino Pancit a few days ago because they know we (and especially Brandon) love it! One of my closest friends will be bringing us a full dinner tonight of baked spaghetti, salad, garlic bread and, oh, chocolate cake. I’ve instructed all meal-deliverers to drop and run since up to this point, we had not received our test results yet. Thank you everyone!
I sat on our back patio and reached back out via fb messenger to the bassist, Mark, who has been texting Brandon. I told him that I simply couldn’t adequately express my gratitude for his time and his efforts. I told him that I was sorry that he’s been going through this, too, and that we all have him and his family in our prayers. I told him that he has been a true example of a storm cloud’s silver lining. I’d hoped that my expression of appreciation would help to lift and comfort him, as well. I later read his fb post where he wrote that he’d been texting the 20-yr-old son of a local fellow musician, and that he was happy that he could help encourage someone else going through this.
Slow test results, but finally …
Brandon had received his COVID-19 test results in 2 days. It has been 5 days since the rest of us had our tests administered. It’s clear that the increased demands for tests have slowed the processing and result-reporting time. I took a chance and called the center where we had tested, and the tech that answered actually looked up our results in his system. After I provided him with correct privacy information, he relayed to me that Sean, Benjamin and myself all tested NEGATIVE. Phew. At least we knew now that we were not exposed from the same source that infected Brandon, and that we were not able to expose others back before Brandon had tested positive, nor when his symptoms were early. This status, of course, could change. We’ll only know in time if we haven’t contracted it FROM Brandon. I pray that our negative status remains that way.
Erin is over 18 and I was not able to receive her results. She called the center herself and was told her results were not back yet. Bruce was tested elsewhere and is also awaiting his results.
Thursday (today): Aside from the times that I sit in our upstairs loft along the wall about 8 feet away from Brandon’s bedroom door and chat with him as he sits at the end of his bed or walks near his ajar doorway, we communicate via phone (voice and text). I texted him a couple of times this morning to ask if he had any appetite and would like to eat, but he didn’t respond. After a bit, I went upstairs and knocked, backed up, and waited. He opened his door to say that he just hadn’t slept well last night, but had slept well this morning. And yes, he would like to try to eat.
He’s been quiet today. I’m leaving him to rest. Although I’m aware that this illness can last 3-6 weeks, as I learned from our pediatrician’s nurse that I brain-picked yesterday for 45 minutes, I believe in my heart that Brandon will be ok. He will muscle his way through this. He’s young and strong. I also know that having a good day on Monday may mean a rough day on Tuesday. Both Brandon and Mark have reported this fact to me.
Mother Bear
The mother bear was born in me the moment I found out that I was pregnant for the first time. She’s been there, ready to reveal her claws should anything threaten the well being of any of my children. I understand the instinctively fierce need for mothers to protect their children.
I felt the bear begin to waken inside me when this virus first made headlines, when it entered our country, our state, our county, our part of town. My anxious need to do everything in my power to protect my family became a primal focus of mine. And when my son became ill, the bear became fully awake and emerged … clearly, strongly and without question. Not only was my child sick, but the remaining children living in our home were now threatened. For the very first time since our older girls moved out, I was glad that they didn’t live here. However, would my other children get sick with this potentially life-threatening illness, too? My claws would like nothing more than to shred to pieces the forces responsible for the creation and unleashing of this scourge.
Ok, I won’t go on and on here … most people reading this understand what I’m talking about.
Before receiving our COVID-19 tests results yesterday, we’d been waiting and waiting to find out the status of the remaining five of us. I realize that the testing sites’ staff members have been inundated and overworked with this recent spike in local cases, but, since we notified people in our lives that Brandon was a positive case, we’ve been receiving concerned inquiries about our health. Of course, my mother has been wondering if our test results were back. Of course, Bruce’s coworkers have been inquiring as to our status, and many of them have gotten tested themselves.
But no one has been more pressing, more regularly and relentlessly inquiring than the “neighbor”. Remember her … the one I mentioned in my previous post? Although I assured her that as soon as I received our results, I would notify her, this assurance was not sufficient for her. She has felt the need to text me almost daily to find out if I’ve heard. No one could be more frustrated than me with the slow response in test results notification, but this person was beginning to drive me insane. By this past Tuesday (2 days ago), already stressed beyond belief, I replied: “Hello, as I have already promised, I will let you know when I find out. The labs must be running behind due to the increase in tests. Please know that I sincerely hope that you and your family aren’t impacted by this virus, but if you are at some point, I also sincerely hope that no one causes you to feel as repulsive, feared, and pressured as we have been made to feel.”
Always preferring to take the high road, however, I then texted, “May I call you?” A few minutes later, we were speaking (with voices) on the phone. I introduced myself to her, and we began to carry on a decent, amiable conversation. I explained that I understood her concern that her children may have been exposed to this virus unknowingly by my two young sons back before we knew Brandon was ill. She assured me that she was also concerned for our family. In my mind, I thought, how can you be? You don’t even know us. We hung up after I told her that, again, I would let her know as soon as we were notified of the results.
On Wednesday late afternoon, less than a minute after I’d hung up with the testing center with our results, I received another text from “neighbor”. My screen read: “Any results yet? My parents want to stop by and visit, but we don’t want them near our children until we know if Sean or Ben exposed them, so please get back to me as soon as possible!”
AAAAGGGHHHH!!! I replied: “15 second ago, I learned that the boys and I tested negative.” Her response: “Wonderful! Now you can concentrate on your son’s recovery. Let me know if you need anything!”
I wanted to reply: “Thank you, because if I ever need further harassment, I certainly know who to call!”. But I didn’t. I decided instead just to leave her on read.
My advice to everyone reading this: We are ALL concerned about our families. All moms have internal mother bears. However, please learn the following from my experience:It is never okay to hound and harass another stressed-out worried mom under the guise of concern for her family when clearly the motive is purely self-centered.Trust that she will get back to you as she agreed, show some tact, sensitivity, genuine care … and leave her and her family alone.
Enough about that.
Well, we still don’t have Erin’s or Bruce’s test results. And again, these were tests taken last week. Things can change. This crisis is far from over, and will probably impact every family at some point, to some extent, before it’s a terrible thing of the past. My heart breaks for all who are suffering from this or from its effects.
My daughter and her fiancé were engaged over a year, announced their wedding date this past Christmas, and have been planning their wedding out of town. The wedding is to be in September. They have been trying to continue on as planned, but now are not sure whether to postpone or not. For now, she is simply overwhelmed and a bit heartbroken that her wedding plans have been so overshadowed by this insidious virus.
However, as I’ve encouraged my daughter, we must stay positive, pray for guidance, and keep moving forward. Bruce continues to work hard from home every day; the boys are keeping occupied with legos, board/card games and online gaming with friends; Erin continues to hole up in her room staying busy with summer online college classwork until her test results come in; I continue to keep the house clean, prepare meals, write song lyrics and blog posts and play my keyboard; all while Brandon continues to heal and recover.
We pray without ceasing.
Until my next post, I’d like to leave my readers with this:
Angels are everywhere. God is everywhere. There is good everywhere, and good will win in the end. God is love and love never fails. One day we will look back and be grateful that we kept our heads high, our faith firm, and our attitudes positive. Love one another and accept the love and help of the angels in our lives when we need them, and then be the angels for others when they need us. Enjoy comfort food including chocolate cake. It’s as simple as that.
Oh, and please don’t harass anyone, ever, especially a stressed-out mother bear.
Update (6/28): Erin’s and Bruce’s test results arrived late yesterday. It took 8 days to receive these results.
And, not surprisingly, the consistent text messages of concern for our family abruptly ceased once I notified the neighbor that our youngest boys’ tests were negative.
I know that the chances were pretty good when we, like most people, started easing out from behind the doors of our quarantined lives to test the waters “out there”. I was aware that one of us may contract this evil virus somehow, some way. Now, please understand that Bruce and I have been those parents … you know, the ones who didn’t allow our live-at-home college kids to work at their part time jobs at a smoothie restaurant past March 20th, even though it was a business that was considered “essential” and never closed. Our first set of twins, our eldest girls, both moved out last year, so our family home contains 6 of us right now, and we have all stayed home … we worked from home (jobs and school) for months, just like most people have. We have had one designated grocery-shopper: my husband Bruce.
Bruce and I decided during the last week of May to finally venture out … to brave and test the outside world beyond our local Publix. After much debate and consideration, we chose to celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary by staying overnight in nearby St. Augustine, FL, while eating at two restaurants in the course of those 2 days. Phase 1 was in effect so restaurants were at 50% capacity. Mask-wearing wasn’t mandatory or enforced anywhere, but we made sure to wear them when necessary. It was actually quite comfortable having empty tables between each dining party. Well, the weekend get-away was a success, and in time we knew we had not come in contact with the virus.
Then phase 2 opening measures were put in place here in Floriday approximately three weeks ago (the 1st of June), and we reluctantly agreed to allowed Erin and Brandon to return to their part-time jobs at the same fast-food restaurant. The restaurant requires masks and gloves for all employees. Each of them has a significant other, and we finally allowed them to start spending time with them in person and not just via face-time.
Due to these changes, however, strict guidelines for those returning from the jungle were enforced: no shoes in the house; strip asap; start a hot water load of laundry; and take a hot shower.
I stepped up my already vigilant cleaning/disinfecting so that, in the event, the kids somehow managed to pick up THE GERM, I could kill it before it could sicken anyone.
While living this way, as we all have been, I’ve developed a sad perspective. I look around and see people masked and afraid. Dare I say we have become afraid of each other. The fear of this virus, and all of the gloom and doom we’ve been bombarded with these last few months have given us a subconscious (or conscious) attitude of repulsion toward people. Have you noticed it?
No, I won’t get into my political beliefs on the origin of and the reason for this virus’ world-wide outbreak, but most will agree that if something could cause us to eagerly and protectively comply with social distancing, to distrust and fear our neighbors and friends, this situation has certainly proven effective. Self-protection and self-preservation has been placed above all else.
Recently, Bruce began to return to his office 3 days a week, but needed to have his temperature checked at his office building’s front entrance, and all employees work spaces were sufficiently distanced from each other.
As for me, although I did not return to work as a health coach and manual therapist, I was looking forward to performing with my band. We had put on a virtual, live stream concert at the end of May, but could not wait to perform on stage again in front of a live audience, albeit small and socially-distanced). We have a performance at an outside venue near the beach scheduled for this coming Friday, 6/26. I’ve also recently resumed some music recording for my nearly-finished second music album, and other creative projects . We were slowly, carefully, reintroducing aspects of our lives.
Then came last Tuesday, June 16.
My son Brandon sent me a text message from his upstairs bedroom that I saw when I woke up around 7:30. “Mom, I am not feeling well, and I’m running a fever. I’m so sorry.” He then admitted that he’d kind of felt “off” the day before.
Oh NO. Without my knowledge, Brandon had driven himself downtown at 6am to receive a nasal swab test at the COVID19 testing center that has been set up in our football stadium’s parking lot. Because of the civil unrest that has been experienced downtown and in most other U.S. cities these last two weeks, he was turned away by the police and military groups attempting to maintain order and safety. Testing would resume later that day.
So he came home, and I then called our doctor’s office. We were directed to either return to the stadium later, go to any ER, or call and then go to a laboratory testing center (like LabCorp or Quest). He was turned away at both LabCorp and our closest ER, so he drove himself back downtown, sat for 3 hours in line while harboring a 102 degree temperature, and was finally tested. He would not receive results for 3-4 days.
Obviously not waiting for test results, we placed him in complete isolation, self-quarantined our family, and I cleaned our home like I’d never cleaned it before. I moved our younger twin boys to a room previously occupied by one of our older daughters so they were as far from Brandon as possible. Brandon’s twin, Erin, decided that she may have been exposed at work too, if that is where Brandon was exposed, so she is presently self-isolating in her bedroom, and wearing a mask if she ventures out to any other area of our home. Bruce contacted his boss and other coworkers, notifying them that he wouldn’t be back in the office or be able to attend any meetings for the time-being because of possible virus exposure.
I’ve been through many bouts of flu while parenting six children, and will tell you, that this has been no ordinary flu. It will be one week tomorrow since the onset of Brandon’s symptoms. The following is the how this virus has progressed:
Tuesday: In the middle of the night between Monday and Tuesday, he awoke feeling achy and “off”. By 5am he knew he had a fever. The thermometer registered nearly 101 degrees. As the day went on the body aches, headache and muscle stiffness worsened. By that night, his temp was 102 degrees.
Wednesday: He experienced an up-and-down fever all day. He took acetaminophen when it got too high, but we really wanted to annihilate this virus, and a fever is how to do it. By Wednesday evening, he began to report a scratchy throat and the beginnings of a cough. He had no appetite, but he pushed fluids. This is the day when he began to take increased vitamin C, D and zinc, some probiotics and a strong antioxidant molecular hydrogen dissolving tablet which is part of my health coaching dietary supplements.
Thursday: His fever seemed to be lowering and by that evening, his temperature was normal, but he still had chills, body aches and headache. I encouraged him to take a shower in the bathroom that only he’d been using since Tuesday morning. He had little appetite today, but I still encouraged nibbling. I went to the store, donned a mask and gloves, and bought his favorite snacks of Cheez-Its, honey-roasted peanuts, jello fruit cups and all his favorite fresh fruit.
On Thursday afternoon, I received a text message from Brandon again. This time it read: “Mom, I was just notified of my test results. It is positive. I’m sorry”. Although I fully expected it, I still felt a bowling ball hit me in the stomach.
I felt panicked. I felt terrified and crippled with fear. I can’t let Brandon or the other kids know that I am.
We have it. We have COVID-19 in our home. COVID-19 has made my son very ill. There are 3 other children and my husband living here, now exposed. Oh, and me, too. I spent the next 2 hours personally contacting our family, friends and our close-by neighbors. I contacted my band because I will not be performing next Friday. I won’t be continuing to record my album’s music. The kids and I were about to finalize a song they are recording with me.
At 8pm that evening I received a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. It read: “Hi Fran, I’m sorry to hear that your son is sick. My family and I live in the rental house near the end of this street. I got your number from another neighbor. Have you all been tested? You must get tested. Your two younger boys were outside last weekend and they may have exposed my child. All of us on this street feel the same way. There are many places where you can receive rapid results. You must do this immediately. In the meantime, because of your boys, we must all self-quarantine. Let me know AS SOON AS YOU HAVE TEST RESULTS.”
So, yeah. My first response was anger. But did I understand? Of course I did. I also understood that we were now considered the lepers of our neighborhood. Here we were, viewed with fear and probably disgust. After composing 3 different versions of text messages that I wanted to fire back with, I deleted them all and replied: “Thank you for your concern. Yes, we’re all being tested tomorrow, and I’ll let you know as soon as we have results.”
This is just the way I roll. I try very hard not to respond when I’m angry or feel indignant, or to what I perceive to be an insult. I would feel exactly the same way, but I probably would be a little less demanding. Maybe.
Mother bears show their claws at times like these. I know, because I would like to tear to pieces whomever caused this virus to be unleashed because it is now VERY PERSONAL … more personal than the inconveniences of lock-downs, of wearing masks, of lost income, of missing our friends and extended family. My family has been directly impacted. My child has been sickened. His life has been threatened. Our home has been invaded by a very dangerous enemy.
Everyone wants to know where he could have “picked it up”. We probably will never know. What I do know is that the number in positive cases have spiked considerably since Phase 2 was initiated. I completely supported the initiatives to re-open the economy and, well, life. It was time. I guess, also, that it was a matter of time before it directly impacted our family.
Friday: I spent several hours trying to make appointments for 5 people to receive COVID-19 tests. Unsuccessful in securing appointment before the following Wednesday, we finally we went up to a nearby urgent care facility and waited as walk-ins. Honestly, the wait wasn’t too bad and it was a good experience. While masked, were all evaluated, had our vitals checked, and received nasal swab tests within 2 hours. Our results would be expected in 4 days. Sigh.
Brandon seemed to want to eat a little bit by Friday evening. I made a chicken, spinach, Alfredo sauce with bow tie pasta dish that I know he loves. He thanked me and said how much he wished he could actually taste it. He has lost all sense of taste or smell.
He has been spending his waking hours playing video games, watching movies and chatting with his girlfriend. His girlfriend reported that 3 extended family member that have not been anywhere near her nor her parents have recently tested positive. Tragically, one of these people were her grandmother, who passed away last Tuesday having been in her mid-seventies and suffering with diabetes. Just unbelievable.
Saturday: Brandon started to experience significant respiratory discomfort. He complained of pain in his mid back and the sensation of his airway tightening. He continued to feel cold, and complained of chills despite a normal temperature.
I took a little bit of time after dinner to make Bruce a home made cheese cake for Father’s Day. It would chill in the fridge, and be ready after dinner on Sunday.
Brandon was now beginning to suffer increasing bouts of anxiety. He, naturally, has been reading everything online that he can find on this illness, and he’s scaring himself. I was awake with him throughout all of Saturday night, sitting on the floor in the hall down from his partially-opened bedroom door. He had panic attacks and was afraid that he was experiencing decreased circulation. I made him check his fingers and toes with the pinch test, and all looked normal. He complained next of loosing feeling in his hands and lower arms. Having some medical training and holding a healthcare practitioner’s license, I tried my best to assure him that his complexion looked healthy, that his energy level was encouraging, that his fingers and toes presented all signs of healthy circulation. He swore that his lips were turning blue, and I swore that I didn’t see it. However, I also was not experiencing first-hand what he was feeling. From what I’ve been reading and hearing myself, the symptoms he’s been experiencing seem to be par-for-the-course as far as this thing is concerned. I knew that if he didn’t spike a new fever (secondary infection, possibly pneumonia), or if he wasn’t having any difficulty breathing (shortness of breath), then his symptoms were not life-threatening and should be managed at home.
Sunday: However, by 6am, he convinced himself that he must go to the ER. Bruce and I tried to convince him that if he were lethargic, and had any inability to take deep, full breaths, we would share his concern. But his stress and his anxiety were now running the show. So he walked down the stairs, out our front door, and got into his car. I didn’t want Bruce riding in a car with him, and Bruce didn’t want me doing the same. So Brandon, full of anxious energy and focus, drove himself to the hospital. We insisted that he keep us posted constantly. Exhausted, I went to bed, but received each of his text messages each 15 minutes or so.
The triage nurse assessed him, and took his vitals. Aside from a slightly elevated heart rate and blood pressure, all checked out fine. His chest x-ray was clear and his pulse-oxygen reading was 100%. He drove home and went back to bed. He did, however, receive some peace-of-mind that his lungs weren’t full of fluid nor was his blood lacking oxygen.
Happy Father’s Day to Bruce
Although I’d chosen up to this point not to post all of this on Facebook, I have been reading some posts from a fellow musician here in town who I’d actually talked to last year about possibly playing bass for our band. When I realized that he and Brandon were in the same stage of this illness, both having started symptoms this past Tuesday, I reached out to Mark via messenger. Later that evening, he texted Brandon so that the two of them could connect and “compare notes” while commiserating. Mark, being a funny guy, also calmed Brandon down with his positive attitude. With Mark’s wife working as a nurse and having worked with COVID patients, he recommended that we purchase our own pulse-oximeter so Brandon could check his own blood-oxygen level, and to give Brandon 5-10 mg of melatonin each night so he can calm down and sleep better.
Monday (today): I gave Brandon 5mg of melatonin last evening, and although he was still up and anxious at 1am, he finally fell asleep, and didn’t wake until 11am. Today he is still experiencing chills and has a sore throat.
But, he wanted to eat today, saying he was hungry. I haven’t heard him use that word in a week. I’m praying (we all are) that he is beginning to improve.
So, my friends, this is serious. It is very serious. As for how it entered our home, it wasn’t for lack of mindfulness. We didn’t lack care. We took it serious, we took precautions. We may have even been overly-protective.
And yet, here we are.
We pray for our son, that he improves and recovers rapidly and completely. He’s young and healthy, so his prognosis is good. We also pray for everyone else going through this right now, for those struggling with this, and for those who have lost loved ones to this insidious, evil virus. We are also praying that this virus stops with Brandon and doesn’t spread throughout our family.
We have faith and we know that God has this.
Please be careful. I see online that there were so many large family gatherings celebrating Father’s Day. People are celebrating summer, celebrating each other, celebrating LIFE. I get it. I really do! But I don’t want people to get THIS, nor to keep spreading this. It’s not over …. it’s far from over. Please be careful. Don’t act irresponsibly. Don’t act foolishly.
Do I think we should all live our lives in masks? I wish there was another option. People wearing masks for extended amounts of time can cause their blood pressure to increase while their decreased oxygen intake can lead to hypoxia (under-oxygenated blood). We could be slowly suffocating ourselves. Infections due to over exposure of carbon dioxide we’re breathing in such as respiratory acidosis are developing. We’re all buying cute, decorative, washable masks (me, included), but if they’re not properly cleaned and dried after each use, we could be breathing in bacteria and developing serious infections. A young food-service employee recently was diagnosed with life-threatening pleurisy as a result of long-term mask-wearing. For people with asthma, like me, wearing a mask is absolutely brutal and I’ve come to realize that my symptoms increase after I’ve been wearing a mask for any amount of time.
For so many professions, however, it’s vital to stay as protected and protective as possible, especially when working in close proximity with others can’t be avoided. People must wear them for entire 8-12 hour shifts, or they lose their jobs. Some companies and business demand that patrons wear them or they cannot enter. Do we either get sick or we get sick? Is wearing a mask the lesser of two evils? It is, however, very important to protect others from exposure, if we have knowingly or unknowingly exposed or contagious.
As for healthcare professionals, masks are obviously mandatory and unavoidable. I can’t express how deeply thankful I am to those every one of these heros working on this war’s front lines. I pray for their safety every day.
There’s just no way around this, and I don’t have the perfect solution, but with common sense, time and faith, we’ll get through this.
We just all have to be patient, to be smart and to take care of ourselves, and those who we love.
Please check back! I’ll continue to update our story-in-the-making …
Many studies have been done over the years weighing the positive vs. the negative effects of placing twins in separate classrooms. However, I’m not going to explain the results of these studies here. Instead, I’m going to provide you with food for thought for your decision-making consideration strictly based upon mine and my children’s personal experiences, and I hope this can help you make the right decision for your children.
As parents of multiples or singletons, we strive to provide environments where our children can develop a positive sense of individuality while feeling secure and safe, grow and thrive with a strong awareness of self worth and pride in themselves and their abilities, and to blossom in self-confidence with healthy goals and ambitions.
We want our children to grow up to lead healthy, happy, productive lives.
And as your children’s parent, you know them better than anyone else based on your day-to-day observations of their personalities, their strengths, their weaknesses and their unique relationship dynamic as individual members of a twin (or more) set.
Our 3rd set of twins, Benjamin and Sean start pre-kindergarten
One of the first questions asked of twin parents as their children begin to reach school age is, “Are you going to separate them in school? I’ve heard that’s the best thing for them …” Right? Everyone’s an expert, and everyone has an opinion.
I’d like to break it down for you based upon our 3 twin set combinations and their individual situations.
TWIN SET 1:
First of all, our first born twin girls were incredibly joined at the hip, so to speak, from infancy through age 9. They attended a small parochial school that had only 1 class per grade so we really didn’t have the choice to separate them or not. We knew they were very comforted by each other’s close proximity because each tended to be shy. Being together provided a sense of safety and security that we believe each child benefited from on a very healthy level. We noticed that by the time they reached 4th-5th grade, each of their circle of friends had expanded, their social confidences grew, and their interests began to diversify. One of the girls continued her pursuit in dance, while her twin wanted no longer had an interest in dance and wanted to focus on martial arts and sports. Because they had now developed different friend circles and different interests, their development and growth in individuality was proceeding in a very healthy manner. We watched and celebrated their true individuality. By the time they both entered high school, their class schedules differed and they continued to grow into the young adults they are today with the normal amount of occasional conflict and disagreement along the way.
TWIN SET 2:
The dynamic between our second set, a boy and a girl, was completely different from our first set of girls. Where they were also very close from the very beginning, this closeness never ended, and in fact, at age 20 today, they still remain the closest of our three sets. By the time they reached school age, we noticed some aspects of their brother/sister relationship that could potentially negatively affect their classroom relationship. For one thing, our son very early on began to exhibit a reading disability along with a mild level ADD. His sister, always the perfectionist, compliant achiever, would hover, protect and “cover” for her twin. She was always watching out for him and felt personally responsible if he “messed up” in some capacity. She was constantly trying to keep up with the tasks she was expected to do, while also feeling responsible for (and embarrassed by) her twin brother. Subsequently, we noticed that our son grew to depend too upon his twin sister’s assistance. On top of the dependency/enabler dynamic that was developing, they also were (and still are) very competitive with each other. Everything from who finished their homework first and who scored in a soccer game became a brutal competition.
We decided to moved our son to our local public school for 4th and 5th grades where he could benefit from our county’s reading resource programs. During the two years that they were separated, our daughter was relieved of the self-imposed brother responsibilities, and was able to concentrate on her classwork and enjoy her friends. As for our son, he initially experienced severe separation anxiety from his twin while also being a “new kid” in a new much-bigger school, but this difficult transition soon proved to be a healthy opportunity for him to recognize his own abilities. It was sink or swim, and although he flailed and gulped some water initially, he soon began to enjoy his new friends, and felt proud of himself as his individual achievements began to grow and his grades improved. We brought our son back to our church school for 6th-8th grades where there were two classes per grade, so we requested that they remain in separate classes where they continued to thrive, but never missed the chance to compete over math grades or higher basketball scoring!
TWINS SET 3:
Our twin boys have been best friends from the start, but are also very competitive with one another. Neither boy has a shy bone in his body, and we began their school career in pre-kindergarten at our small church school as we had with their 4 older siblings. Within a year, they were BOTH beginning to exhibit signs of dyslexia, just like their older brother. Being experienced in this situation, I placed them in the same public school for 2nd and 3rd grades that had proven so successful with our older son. Because they each take comfort in each other’s close proximity, we felt that the new school was enough of a change, and requested that they be placed in the same classroom. However, while one of our boys began to slowly improve, his twin still significantly struggled. Try as we did to give him all of the extra and individual reading support possible, one of our boys would not prove the academic strength to proceed on to 4th grade, and was retained in 3rd grade.
I will be perfectly honest with you. I was devastated. In my mind, I was very concerned with the emotional and mental impact and ramifications that could develop as the twin left behind while his brother moved forward. He would always be behind from then on. I also saw the lost chance achieving academic milestones and of their graduating high school and college together, but I didn’t allow him to know how I felt. Instead, we put our chins up and all came to accept that our son was where he needed to be. When I think back, I’m so proud of how brave he was, and I tear up remembering how he simply made the decision to make and embrace his new friends. He actually enjoyed saying, “Oh, we did that last year in math, so it’s easy for me!”
After two years of applying, both boys were finally accepted into a school for dyslexic children here in Jacksonville where they both have done very, very well. Our older boy is presently excelling in 6th grade while his twin brother is killing it in 5th!
IT’S ALL ABOUT THE INDIVIDUAL CHILD We all want to do what’s best for our children, and just because our kids came in sets of two or more, it doesn’t negate their complete individuality … whether they are fraternal or identical twins.
Looking back, I didn’t know exactly how our choices would play out. So as parents, I encourage you to know that you can experiment. If there’s some particular factor that has prompted you to consider separating twins who have been together thus far, perhaps it’s worth exploring. If, for some reason, it doesn’t work out, then move them back together for a while! School administrators understand the challenges that come with twin students and will often times work to ensure that everyone is happy, including us parents!
We’ve all had to readjust to the “temporary normal” way of life these days during the global pandemic that has touched each one of us, and it’s been a challenge!
As moms, so many things are on our minds right now: the health of our spouse/partner and of our children … and of ourselves. How can I best protect my children from this health-threatening virus? What if I or my partner get sick … who will take care of our children? How long will I be out of work?
We’re blessed that my husband was able to transition to working completely from home, and it’s working out fine for him. I had to leave my job at the medical spa where I worked as a medical massage therapist as well as a nutrition/weight loss consultant, so my income completely stopped as so many of yours has. My musical group’s last performance was held on March 15th, to a pretty small audience because social distancing was just kicking in. The following week saw the big changes.
Our college kids pretty seamlessly transitioned from on-campus to all online classes, and my 5th and 6th graders are now attending school via virtual education. I don’t know how Microsoft Teams isn’t crashing more with all the overload its taken on.
All is working out, and so far, we’re all staying well. We’re complying to the appeal to stay home and stay safe. Although we’re all plugging along in this temporary way of life, there’s still an underlying element of stress and worry.
In the search of stress-managing and stay-at-home idea resources for our family, I came across some great info that I’d like to share with you, my readers.
I especially love that you can visit the Cincinnati Zoo virtually each day via their facebook page at 3pm (CT)! Number 26 (Face-timing family) is sooooo important for everyone! We use ZOOM and it works really well!
Last Saturday, my husband took our 12-year-old boys out into our driveway to work on last year’s Webelo scout’s birdhouse/feeders they had made. Now the job was to complete them, hang them and fill them with bird seed to attract the gorgeous cardinals and other birds in our yard.
I love our newly-hanging birdhouses … now to see how long it takes the squirrels to know they’re here!
Parents, we’ll all get through this, I have no doubt. It’s really hard isolating from our friends, co-workers and extended family. It’s so hard not having our 2 older girls with us as they have been quarantining away from us. And while we focus on the care of our families, keep our homes clean and cook what feels like our 478th dinner this month, remember to take care of YOU, too! Some close friends of mine have arranged a get-together via ZOOM each Friday night where we sip some wine, laugh and catch up with each other. Talk about a STRESS RELEASER! Here’s a pic of our last group visit.
That’s me on the left with my phone taking our pic … I guess I could have screen-shot the session LOL!
Everyone stay home for now, stay safe, keep the faith and we will soon be back into life. For now, let’s take this unique opportunity to slow down, focus on our families, appreciate each other and our blessings, and stay healthy!
I’m in the process of narrating my book, TWINS x3 10-Year Anniversary Edition with the assistance of my music co-writer Kenny Levine in his recording studio where we record our music. With the further assistance and expertise of music industry performing artist and promotional expert Jeff Ganz as editor and producer, the audio book will be released in Spring 2020! Stay tuned!
We all have that one child that sees something and must comment about it, no matter how much we internally pray that he won’t notice it, and heaven forbid actually SAY something out loud about it. Then it happens, and we’re absolutely FLOORED … our heart rate increases, we start to sweat, we desperately try to cough, distract, or just grab our kid and run away as fast as we can ….
I’ve been cursed …
It’s probably cosmic pay-back or the curse your mom puts on you that she “hopes you have a child just like you one day”. I’m here to day that the curse does work, it does exist.
When I was a small child I would point out everything I noticed and stated everything I thought about. My mother often tells the story of the time our family greeted our pastor after mass one Sunday when I was about five years old, and I reached up and said, “Were we good in church Mommy, or are you gonna beat us again?” Now, my parents may have given us bottom spankings when we deserved them, but we were never BEATEN. My mother was mortified! Today, DCF may be notified …
Another time, a elderly man who was a family friend came to dinner. This gentleman had a rather large mole on his nose. My mother made a point of NOT SEATING HIM NEXT TO ME at the dinner table specifically due to my tendencies to verbally-observe. However, after asking if I could sit next to him, the gentleman said, “why of course you can!” To this my mother inwardly groaned. Sure enough, during dinner I noticed the mole, and my mother noticed that I noticed the mole. As I began to furrow my eyebrows and to slowly reach up my little index finger to verbally observe, my mom suddenly jumped up and shouted, “DESSERT ANYONE!!??”
To the check out boy: I hope he didn’t scar you for life …
And so the tradition has continued with my own children.
While standing at the grocery store check-out counter with my then 5-year-old boy/girl set of twins, I couldn’t help but notice the male, teenage check out clerk’s unfortunate prevalent case of full-facial acne. I began to repeatedly inner chant to myself, “please don’t let Brandon say anything to this young man”. But within only seconds, my sweet, compassionate son emphatically announced to this young man, “It’s okay, I had chicken pox really bad on my face, too! Don’t worry, your mommy can give you an oatmeal bath and put some lotion all over your body to make you feel better!
I’ll bet you’re glad you asked …
When I was walking out of our local library with two 12-year-olds, two 7-year-olds and a double stroller carrying two infants, an older woman who was approaching the door to enter, stepped aside and allowed our parade to exit the building. I thanked her for her patience, and she replied, “Are those all your children?” When I replied that they were, she then stated, “Wow, I’m glad it’s you, and not me,” … to which my 7-year-old daughter responded, “we’re glad it’s not you, too!”
The above article was submitted to Parents.com on 3/13/19 for story contributions of “the most embarrassing/funny things their child has said out loud”.
One more tidbit (shared by one of my Instagram followers)
The one that stands out for me: Standing in line in a VERY CROWDED post office holding the baby also with a toddler and a 5yo who, at the moment, was rubbing my leg. Then she shouted for ALL to hear “Momma, you’re not wearing any underwear!” Mortified I then proceeded to show everyone that I WAS INDEED wearing underwear! 😱😂😂
